Dow Jokes - page 111

Day at the Races

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour, some of the children needed to go to the toilet, so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other female teacher. She was to wait outside the men’s toilet. Soon one of the boys…

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Read JokeDay at the Races

The Frog Prince …… (revised even further)

A sad lonely Princess was walking through the forest contemplating her life when she suddenly stumbled upon a frog. After a few initial looks she scanned the woods to make sure that no one would see and leaning down she gave the frog a single kiss on the head. To her surprise a flash and a cloud of white smoke revealed the most handsome Prince she had ever laid her eyes on. Falling to her knees she implored the Prince,…

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Read JokeThe Frog Prince …… (revised even further)

Three most powerful people

God looks down on earth and decides he’s had enough. With a crack of thunder, He summons to heaven the three most powerful people on Earth: Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates. “Gentlemen,” God says. “I have called you here because I am truly disappointed in humans and decided to end the world. You have one week to prepare your people. With a crack of thunder, God sends all three back to Earth. Bill Clinton calls together his Cabinet…

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Drunk Walking Home

A drunk leaves the bar to go home. He has to walk through the cemetery on his way home. He’s walking along and falls into an open grave. “Help, Help! Get me out of here!” he screams. A drunk friend of his is walking home and he too has to pass through the cemetary. As he is walking along, he hears, “Help, Help! Get me out of here!” “Who said that?” says the 2nd drunk, looking around. “Who said that?”…

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Speeding Senior Citizen…..

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some actually join in… one day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a man stepped out with his arm stretched out… “Stop!” he said in…

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Clinton Takes Flight

Bill Clinton, soon to be a “private” citizen again, wanting to get the feel of regular life again decided to take a comercial airline flight. After the pilot made his obligatory welcome and flight information announcement, he put the microphone down but didn’t realize he had left it locked in the “send” mode. He said to his co-pilot, “Boy, this has been one hell of a week. You know, I could really use a blow job and a cup of…

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Read JokeClinton Takes Flight

Technical Support

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft?s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter?s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a hand-written sign, and held it in the helicopter?s window. The pilot?s sign said ?WHERE AM I?? in large letters. People in the tall building quickly…

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Filling the Prescription

Over the dinner table, Mrs. Moskowitz said to her spouse, “You know how nervous and tense I’ve been lately, Jake? Well, I went to see the doctor.” “Yes,” murmured Moskowitz, never lifting his eyes from the soup he was eating. “And what did the doctor say, Becky?” “He examined me thoroughly, Jake, and said that physically, I was in fine shape. He said all I needed was some sex.” Moskowitz’a attention was now caught. “Is that so?” he said. “And…

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Bridge the Communication Gap

A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, “Yessir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked! They played a game called ‘Bridge,’ and last night a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring in refreshments, I heard a man say, ‘Lay down and let’s see what you got.’ Another man said, ‘I got strength and no length.’ And…

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Read JokeBridge the Communication Gap