Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician’s office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, “My husband wants me to ask you . . .” “I know, I know,” the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in your pregnancy.” “No, that’s not it at all, Brenda confessed. “He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”
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How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…
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An old codger goes to visit his doctor about painful peeing. His wife goes with him because the poor old bloke is hard of hearing. After an examination the Doctor says to the old man, “Right, I’ll need you to leave a urine, semen and feces samples for analysis.” The old man didn’t quite hear the Doctor and asks his wife, “What did the Doctor say?” The wife replies, “He wants you to leave your underpants here, dear.”
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Now that Barbie is nearing 40, we’ve created new dolls that more realistically reflect her current life-style. 1. Bifocals Barbie: Includes her own set of blended lens fashion frames in 6 wild colors. Includes neck chain and large print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie’s bellybutton and see her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead and upper lip. Complete with tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie:…
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“I’m a magician,” the man told the doctor. “That’s interesting. What’s is your best trick?” “I saw a woman in half” “Is it difficult?” “It’s child’s play. I learned it as a child.” “Are there any more children at home?” “I have several half-sisters.”
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George had not been feeling well in the last several days and when the pain finally became totally unbearable, he went to his Doctor. After considerable poking and prodding and testing the Doctor says grimly, “George, you’re terminal.” “Oh my God!” exclaims George. “How long do I have?” The Doctor says “Ten.” “Ten WHAT?” George screams. “Ten months, ten years…WHAT?” The Doctor says, “Nine…eight…seven… “
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A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?” The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” He then pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks, “You mean to say,…
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A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for so when they got home, he dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and…
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10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because he knew men would never ask directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don’t want to see what’s on television, they want to see WHAT ELSE is on television. 8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for…
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This real short girl went to the doctor one day and complained that every time it rained her crotch hurt. The doctor wanted to know how long this had been going on, and she said ever since she could remember. The doctor told her to come back on a rainy day so he could check it out. Sure enough, the next day it rained and she went back to the doctor. He advised her that he would have to give…
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