Doctor doctor Jokes - page 28

Q & A puns

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path. Q: How do you get holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it. Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones. Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? A: Cuatro sinko. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.…

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Dreams

A psychiatrist asked what the patient had dreamed the previous night. “I didn’t dream at all,” replied the patient. “How do you expect me to help you,” chided the doctor, “if you don’t do your homework?”

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Yo Mama

1. Yo Mama is soo fat, she stepped on a dollar bill and made change. 2. Yo Mama is soo stupid, she thought she needed an x-ray when she broke wind. 3. Yo Mama is soo ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked her with a lawsuit. 4. Yo Mama is soo fat, if she fell she would rock herself to sleep trying to get up.

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Hospital Humor

A doctor enters into a patient’s room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear. The patient responds, “Doctor, give me the good news.” The doctor says, “Well we are gonna name a disease after you.”

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40th Birthday

An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, for there in front of him was a huge cake, with 40 marzipan eyes! The guest, asked him why he laughed, and after some minutes…

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A pill for the rest of my life

Casey came home from the doctor looking very worried. His wife asked, “What’s the problem?” He said, “The doctor told me I have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life.” She said, “So what! Lots of people have to take a pill everyday their whole lives.” He said, “I know, but he only gave me four pills.”

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Nice Guy Test

The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…

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contagious condition

This woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked what was the problem she responded, “Well, whenever I take off my clothes my nipples get hard.” Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath then asked, “Your nipples get hard?” “Yes,” quite innocently came her reply. “Undress so I can check,” replied the still amazed doc. So she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer. After some considerable time the doctor, still looked…

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What’s Your Fee?

When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table. Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life. As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanks the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services. “Just name the fee,” he croaked, gratefully. “Okay,” replied the doctor. “How about half of what you’d have offered…

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