Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. Say, “uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, “Dang, this water’s cold.” 5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh crap! My glass eye!” 6. Say, “Hmmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 7. Grunt and strain real loud…
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Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Patti, called the insurance company. Patti spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Whoa, there, just a minute! Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.” There was a long pause, and then Patti replied, “If…
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Tips For Yankees 1.) Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. 2.) If you forget a Southerner’s name, refer to him (or her) as Bubba. You have a 50% of being right. 3.) Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 4.) If you do run your car in a ditch, don’t panic. Four men…
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A burly, muscular rancher returned home a day earlier from his trip to the city to deliver a herd of cattle. When he entered the bedroom, the rancher found his wife naked in bed getting it on with his ranch foreman. Angrily, the rancher grabbed his foreman by the neck and proceeded to choke him until the foreman lost consciousness. When the foreman came to after being splashed in the face with water, he found himself in the barn all…
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A local radio station, WINO, is running a competition to find contestants who can come up with words that are not found in any English Dictionary yet can still use these words in a sentence that will make logical sense; the prize being a trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, has many callers, the following two standing out: DJ : WINO, what’s your name? Caller: Hi, my name’s Dave. DJ: Dave, what is your word?…
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How to Tell if Your Grandpa Listens to Too Much Rap Music: ?1998 Larry Weaver 1. Refers to his Craftmatic Adjustable bed as a hoopty, and wants hydraulics installed. 2. Gets his dentures capped in gold. 3. Insists that Martha Raye is “bout it, bout it.” 4. Gets excited when his pacemaker beeps because he thinks a ho is paging him. 5. Has “Fubu” crocheted into his sweater. 6. Calls his childhood “the hard knock life,” and begin stories with…
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1. A guitar has a volume knob. 2. If you break a guitar’s G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one. 3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want to. 4. You can unplug a guitar. 5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining. 6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset. 7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested. 8. You can have…
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I’m glad I’m a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don’t live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections. I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don’t get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down! I won’t grab your hooters, I won’t pinch your butt. My belt buckle’s not hidden beneath my beer…
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There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propagated through the e-mail system. If you get an e-mail message with the subject : “VIRUS ALERT!” do not open the e-mail message. If you do, the virus scrambles the second half of every text file on your system. VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the first thing yof su ew fosi zxyc fpfpphgas kdjfk skjsdkf ajhds sjhdf oque augdx dsu8 sudk vsaiu ajdk vlkjf !
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