Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
After all the men bashing jokes, it time to FIGHT BACK!!! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. How…
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When I was in junior-high, all I wanted was a girl with great figure. In high school, I dated a girl with great figure, but there was no passion. So, I decided I needed a passionate girl. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency and she cried all the time. So, I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She…
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Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he’s going to divorce his wife. “Good grief,” says Jim, “You and Sue are the happiest couple I know – why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?” “Well,” replies Fred, “Truth be known I’m just bored with pokin’ the same hole night after night after night. I guess I’m hankerin’ for a bit of…
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Tips For Yankees 1.) Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. 2.) If you forget a Southerner’s name, refer to him (or her) as Bubba. You have a 50% of being right. 3.) Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 4.) If you do run your car in a ditch, don’t panic. Four men…
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Who is Jack Schitt? Who is Jack Schitt? The Lineage Revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”. Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt…
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Corporate Buzzwords for 2000 Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively. Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube Farm:…
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We know about ambulance-chasing lawyers, but there’s also big money in splitsville. There was shifty-eyed guy at the post office methodically licking “Love” stamps and placing them on a pile of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over. After all were stamped, the man took out a perfume bottle and sprayed each envelope. A curious bystander asked: “What are you doing?” “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” said the fellow at the counter. “But why?” “I’m a…
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Now that Barbie is nearing 40, we’ve created new dolls that more realistically reflect her current life-style. 1. Bifocals Barbie: Includes her own set of blended lens fashion frames in 6 wild colors. Includes neck chain and large print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie’s bellybutton and see her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead and upper lip. Complete with tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie:…
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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that??!!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “that was my mistress.” The wife says, “That’s it; I want a divorce.” “I understand,” replies her husband, “but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be…
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A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those day-vorces.” The attorney said, “Well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?” The farmer said, “No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere.” The attorney said,…
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