Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman goes into a discount store and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she has bought the day before because it doesn’t work. The clerk tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she has bought it on special. The woman insists she is entitled to a refund. The clerk, not knowing what to do, goes to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the woman and asks if he can…
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COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM FOR STUDENT ATHLETES Time Limit: 3 WEEKS 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to ____ (a) build a bridge ____ (b) sail the ocean ____ (c) lead an army or ____ (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (check only…
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A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in North Dakota. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. “No, thanks,” says the plant manager. “I tried smoking a cigar once, but I didn’t like it.” The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for a round of drinks. “No, thanks,” the plant manager replies. “You know, I tried alcohol once, but didn’t…
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Three engineering students were discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, “It had to be a mechanical engineer…look at all the joints.” The second said, “No, it must have been an electrical engineer…the central nervous system is a miracle of millions of electrical connections.” The third said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline right through a recreational area?”
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A girl noticed that she had a green spot on the inside of each of her thighs. She waited a week for them to disappear, but instead, they got even bigger and greener. Worried, she made a visit to her doctor. He examined the green spots closely, poked them, prodded them, and then looked the girl in the eye and asked, “Are you still dating that gypsie guy?” “Yes, I am,” said the girl. “Why do you ask?” “Tell him,”…
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50 Ways to Kill Bin Ladin (As sung by “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” with apologies to Paul Simon) The problem is all inside his head it seems to me; The answer is easy if you strike him methodically. We need to get him in our struggle to be free; There must be 50 ways to get Bin Ladin. Bush said ?It?s really not my habit to use nukes. Except now, I?m really pissed off at those Islamic nut-head…
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF MERCY -HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying:…
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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor pulled the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. He will surely die if you don’t do the following: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.…
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There are three prostitutes sitting at a bar discussing the size of their hole. The first one says, “I can get a whole fist up mine!” The second says, “That’s nothing! I can get two fists up mine!” The third one just slides down the bar stool!
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Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it, but couldn’t–the cow was killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar…
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