Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There once was a man named Tom who was going out with a woman named Lorraine. He thought Lorraine was THE one. They had been going out for years and he was thinking of finally proposing. Tom was also the head of a company and one day his personal secretary of many years quit because of family issues. Tom was upset but contacted an agency to find his a suitable replacement. Immediatly they found one, named Clearly, and she was…
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01. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 02. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 03. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 04. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 05. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 06. Do I look like a fricking people person? 07. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 08. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 09.…
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What’s the difference between a millionaire and a billionaire? A million seconds is 13 days. A billion seconds is 31 years. A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ. A billion hours ago, man had not yet walked on earth. A billion dollars ago was yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
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Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. “I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.” The sheik turns to the…
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Three old men were sitting on a bench in Florida when a reporter approached them. “I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell us your secret to long life,” the reported asked. The three old men agreed. The first old man was asked his secret to his long life. “I never drank alcohol, I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for fifty years.” “Wow, thats really remarkable!” said…
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How do you know if you’re in love, lust, or marriage? LOVE — when your eyes meet across a crowded room LUST — when your tongues meet across a crowded room MARRIAGE — when your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care LOVE — when you argue over how many children to have LUST — when you argue over who gets the wet spot MARRIAGE — when you argue over money LOVE — when you share everything…
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Fred was a tired, overworked traveling salesman who’d been making sales calls all day and hadn’t even stopped for lunch. At about four o’clock he pulled into the crowded parking lot of a large plaza, thinking he could get a bite in the food court. He circled around several times looking for a parking space when he finally spied one close to the entrance. He was carefully backing in when a young guy driving a Porche, who obviously saw Fred,…
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There were four nuns in a car one day and the highway patrolman pulled them over. The highway patrolman went up to the nun that was driving and asked if she had any idea how fast she was going. The nun replied, “I always go one under the speed limit so I was going 28 mph.” The state patrolman replied, “Sister you’re on 29 and the speed limit is 55.” The patrolman looked back and saw one of the nuns…
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One day a woman’s phone rang and it was her church preacher asking her to bring a pet to church. So on Saturday night, she went to the pet shop to buy a parrot to teach it to pray. She found one and bought it. She brought the bird home and tried to get it to talk, but it wouldn’t. The next day she woke up and got ready for church. She looked out the window and said, “God damit!…
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The following exchanges are taken from transcripts of allegedly true 911 calls. ———————————————- Nobody Knows Me …. Caller: “I’d like to make a unanimous complaint, so don’t use my name.” ———————————————- Deer Roadkill … Caller: “I’m reporting a deer on the road. I almost hit it.” Call-taker: “Is the deer alive?” Caller: “Oh, no, it’s run over. Many, many cars. Again and again, and – OH NO!!! NOT AGAIN!” ———————————————- This Is A Recording… Not. Caller: “Am I talking to…
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