Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other and generally did not get on. The Scotsman owned the best chicken in the country and it laid great tasting eggs. One day the chicken broke into the Englishman’s garden and laid an egg. The two men began arguing about who the egg belonged to. The Englishman claimed it for himself, saying “The egg was laid in my garden, therefore it belongs to me.” The Scotsman countered with “It’s…
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One day, at the 45th National Bank, a frog hopped inside and sat at the loan info chair. The lady on the job asked, “How may I help you?”, feeling dumb for talking to a frog. The frog replied, “Ribbit ribbit, loan, 5 dollars.” The lady asked the frog for colateral, and he spit a wooden bird, no taller then 2cm on the table. Wiping it off, the lady replied, “Mr. frog, my name is Patricia Black. I will be…
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Eleven reasons e-mail is like a male reproductive organ: 11. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off. 10. Those who have it think that those who don’t are somehow inferior. 9. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s neat, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it. 8. Many of those who don’t have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call *E-Mail…
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Rabbi Cohen and Rabbi Goldstein were having dinner at a Chinese restaurant. After dinner while they were having dessert, Rabbi Cohen wondered aloud, “I’ve been thinking this while we’re having dinner and I can’t get it off my mind.” “Well, what’s on your mind?” asked Rabbi Goldstein. “Well, I’ve been thinking if there are any Jews living in China these days,” said Rabbi Cohen. “Why don’t you ask the waiter over there?” asked Rabbi Goldstein as he waved for the…
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One day a woman went to her doctor for her physical. After all of the routine checks and ‘female’ exam, she was given great results. Very happy and excited, she went home to meet her husband. “How did it go?” he asked. “Wonderful,” she said, “the doctor said I have a tight package.” “Did he say anything about your BIG ASS?” “Nope, he didn’t mention YOUR name the whole time I was there!!”
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There was this man named Elmer Shit. Everyone poked fun at him until he couldn’t take it anymore. One day Elmer took his very best friend to the side and said he was going to change his rotten name for good. So they go to the courthouse, money in hand, and Mr. Shit has a smile from ear to ear. Then his friend asks, “What is your new name?” And Elmer says, “Barney Shit.”
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There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking in the desert together, when suddenly one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. Then, he hollered into the cave, “Woo! Woo! Woo! A moment later, the Indian heard a response, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” so he tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The puzzled Polish fellow asked the other Indian what that was all about, and the Indian replied,…
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“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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Little Johnny’s teacher asked the class if they had ever heard the word “contagious” before. Little Susie put up her hand and proceded to tell the class that when somebody has the chicken pox they are contagious. Her mummy said so. Next was little Robert. He told the class that contagious was when somebody has got the measles. Then little Johnny stood up to set them all right. “You’re both wrong. The other day I was sitting on the porch…
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One sunny Tuesday afternoon, in a bar in Normandy, France, a Barman notices two guys sitting in the corner leaning on each other. The Barman, feelng a bit homophobic, goes over to these two and says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept gay people in this bar! There is a lovely gay bar down the road if you are interested!” The couple look angry and one replies, “I’m sorry to tell you, but we are not gay! We are in…
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