Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A preacher buys his son a toy airplane for his birthday. They put the plane together and took it out for a test fly. The little boy threw the plane up, it hit the ground, and was smashed into little pieces. The little boy turned to his father with a face of red and says, “I’ll be damned!” His father, being a preacher says, “Son, don’t curse, when things go wrong, say Jesus”. So the little boy took his father’s…
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SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn…
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The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times! ——————- Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are…
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A boy was under foot all morning while his mother was trying to clean the house. She tells her son to go across the street where they are building a house to see if he might learn something. A few hours later the boy returns home, the mother asks, “What did you learn?” He replies, “Well, you hand the damn door up there and it doesn’t fit, of course. So you take it down and trim a cunt hair off…
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118. By the end of the party, he’s got every damn kid doing the “pull my finger” trick. 17. Clown car must be started with a Breathalyzer device. 16. Keeps screaming, “My name’s not BO-zo, it’s bo-ZO!” 15. References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds. 14. Props for his “disappearing” trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV. 13. Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the “Severed Limb” trick. 12. Tells the kids he…
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A: “God must hate me” B: “Why?” A: “He makes me like pussy so much, and damn it, he puts the thing on a woman!”
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A little boy is sitting on a corner squashing pissants. A priest comes by asks the boy what he is doing. “Squashing pissants” the boy replies. The priest says “But son, don’t you know that everything on earth has a purpose in life.” “Not everything” says the boy. “Name three things that don’t have a purpose” asks the priest. The boy thought for a minute then said. “Tits on a nun, balls on a priest and these damn pissants.”
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An elderly couple were having trouble remembering things. The man advised the woman that he thought they should see a doctor. Both agreed and went to the doctor. The doctor stated that was no big problem and that it is easily cured. “Get yourself a tablet and when you think of something write it on the tablet.” The couple returned home. Later that evening the man asked the woman if she would kindly get him a glass of ice water.…
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If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps outward to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Lucky Pig!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) Humans, whales and dolphins are the only species that have sex for…
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A man wanted to give his wife a pet for her birthday so he went into a pet store and asked for something different. Then he saw something really different: a skunk. Well, he bought it and gave it to his wife. She looked at her husband and said, “Are you crazy? What do you think I am going to do with this?” Becoming mad that she didn’t like his gift to her, he replied, “I don’t care, grow yourself…
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