Cow Jokes - page 12

Australian Kangaroos

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.” Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.” The conversation has, meanwhile,…

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Helping Him Quit

This coworker was truly concerned about her husband’s smoking habit. She had finally gotten him to agree to limit his smoking at home to only those times when they had finished making love. She said she had gotten the idea from a classic movie they had watched on TV called “Cold Turkey.” After about a week, I asked her how it was going. “Well, not too bad,” she said, getting up off the pillow she had in her chair and…

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The Deer Hunter

It was Saturday morning as Jack, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife Annie sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. “What you are doing up and dressed like that?” he asks. “I’m going hunting with you”, Annie smiles. Jack reluctantly agrees to take her along, and when they reach the hunting site,…

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Bull on Meds

A rancher needs a bull to service his cows, but needs to borrow the money from the bank. The banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won’t even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week, the banker returns to see if the vet has helped. The farmer looks…

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Working

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. 3. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry,…

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Farm Boy

A farm girl brought a bull to a neighboring pasture in order that it might service a cow there. The farm boy in charge of the cow joined her and they watched the process. After a while, the farm boy turned to the farm girl and said, “That just makes me itch to do the same thing. How about it?” And the farm girl said indifferently, “Go ahead, it’s your cow.”

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About Animals

A mother was reading a book about animals to her three year old daughter. Mother: “What does the Cow say?” Child: “Mooo.” Mother: “Very Good! Now what does the Cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Ohh you’re so smart, now what does the frog say?” And this little 3 year old girl looked up at her mother and replied, “Bud.”

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bagpipes

There was a Scotsman, American,and a Mexican. They were driving along a road in Canada. They all saw a cow and the Mexican said, “That is a Mexican cow because of the spots.” “No,no,no!” said the American. “That is an American cow because of the way it walks.” “No, you are both wrong!” said the Scotsman. “It is a Scottish cow because of the bagpipes underneath.”

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