Cow cow Jokes - page 10

My First Time

The sky was dark, The moon was high, All alone, just her and I. Her hair so soft, Her eyes so blue, I knew just what she wanted to do. Her skin so soft, Her legs so fine, I ran my fingers down her spine. I didn’t know how, But I tried my best, I placed my hands on her soft sweet breast. I remember my fear, My fast beating heart, But slowly she spread her legs apart. And when…

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Residential sales call

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a real mean and tough-looking lady opens the door. Before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet, exclaiming, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn’t do wonders cleaning up that bovine manure, I’ll eat them!.” She turns to him with a smirk on her face and says, “You want ketchup on that?” The…

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Car name acronyms

ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…

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The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas

The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…

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Bragging Texan

“I know that smart-alec Tex,” said the first cowboy. “He’s going to start bragging about that new car he bought as soon as he gets here.” “Not Tex,” said the second guy. “He’ll always just be a good ol’ boy. When he walks in, I’m sure all he’ll says is ‘hello.’” “I know Tex better than either of you,” said the third man. “He’s so smart, he’ll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now….” Tex swung…

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A Modern Fable

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day, when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do, he…

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Read JokeA Modern Fable

A Letter to Our Government

Dear Sir, My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with…

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Skipping a grade

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, “Johnny! What is your problem?!” Johnny says, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister’s in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!” The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnny to the principal’s office and explained Johnny’s request. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the…

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Dr. Doolittle

A ventriloquist was driving through the country one day when his car broke down. He walked for a few miles and ended up at a farm. The farmer was very helpful, and called AAA. While the ventriloquist was waiting for AAA, he decided to have a little fun. “Nice horses”, he said to the farmer, “Can I talk to them?” The farmer said, “You city slicker! Them horses don’t talk!”. The ventriloquist said, “Let me try anyway. Hi horses! How…

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Read JokeDr. Doolittle