Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were these three guys on a plane going from Florida to New York. The first, wearing a suit and tie, and reading the NEW YORK TIMES, commented, “Last night I made love to my wife three times. This morning she made me fresh ground coffee, brought the paper to me in bed, and she said I was the best lover in the world.” “That ain’t nothing!” said the guy reading USA TODAY, dressed in chinos and a casual shirt.…
(0)
Loading...
Bill Clinton, soon to be a “private” citizen again, wanting to get the feel of regular life again decided to take a comercial airline flight. After the pilot made his obligatory welcome and flight information announcement, he put the microphone down but didn’t realize he had left it locked in the “send” mode. He said to his co-pilot, “Boy, this has been one hell of a week. You know, I could really use a blow job and a cup of…
(0)Loading...
TOP 20 THINGS THAT SHOW YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90’S 20. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 19. Your reason for not staying in touch with family members is that they do not have e-mail addresses. 18. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s homepage to your bookmarks. 17. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents. 16. Pick up lines now include…
(0)Loading...
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…
(0)Loading...
“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
(0)Loading...
…. AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE: At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them…
(0)Loading...
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name “Marylou” written on it,” she said, furious. “You had better have an explanation!” “Calm down, Honey,” the man replied. “Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.” The next morning, his wife…
(0)Loading...
A jumbo jet took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH NO!!!” Silence followed and after a few anxious minutes, the pilot came back on the…
(0)Loading...
Follow the instructions demonstrated in the dialogue shown, and YOU can get a free meal. No law-breaking is involved. This incident really happened…. Enter any eating establishment, which does NOT have a dining counter. Here’s how the conversation with the host/hostess MIGHT proceed: “I’d like to sit at the counter.” “I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t have a counter.” “Yes you do.” “No, I’m sorry, but we do not.” “You have no counter at all, in this establishment?” “No Sir,…
(1)Loading...
David goes to a department store and sees a Thermos flask, he asks an assitant how it works. “It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.” So he buys one. Later on he goes to the training ground, and Mr. Ferguson asks him how his Thermos flask works, “It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.” “What have you got in it David??” “Two cups of coffee and a chocolate ice cream.”
(0)Loading...