Coffee tea Jokes - page 2

Snappy Replies

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook. Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give you a job. I don’t need much help. Job Applicant: That’s all right.…

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Nun’s Life

So there’s this nun who teaches first graders. On the first day of class the nun calls out all of the children’s names, except she notices that all the way in the back of the classroom there’s this little girl who never raised her hand. So the nun goes over to the little girl and asks her “Little girl, what is your name?” and the little girl responds “My name is Helen Fuckhour.” The nun says to the little girl…

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The Lighter Side of Room Service

This telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia was recorded and then published in the Far East Economic Review : Room Service: “Morny. Ruin sorbees.” Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialed room service.” Room Service: “Rye… Ruin sorbees… morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??” Guest: “Uh… yes… This is Room 203. I’d like some bacon and eggs.” Room Service: “Ow July den?” Guest: “What??” Room Service: “Ow July den?… Pry, boy, pooch?” Guest: “Oh,…

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Some abbreviations for the Chatrooms

\_/ \_/………………..Soda (~~)? (~~)3…………Coffee mugs (_)?……….Tea cups (fine china) [%]D..Hot cocoa w/mini marshmallows (#$#$#$#$#$).Plate of hash browns and onions [:::] [:::]………Poptarts for all (sgeg)===……Pan of scrambled eggs >> @–>–>– ……………….A rose ())))___crayola___)))>…..Crayolas (::waving::)……………..Waving {{{screen name here}}}…..Personal Cyber hugs {{{ }}}…………..Lots of Hugs 🙂 …………………….Smile or :o) ……with round nose (:D) ………………….Big Grin :o…………………….Surprised :O………………REALLY Surprised :D……………..Laughing/smiling :oD…………………..with nose :+ or :o+………………Kiss :* or :o*………………Whistle 😉 or ;o)………………Wink 😡 or :ox…….My lips are sealed }:(……………………..Mad 🙁 or :o(………………Frown :'( or :,(…

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Too Much of the 90’s

TOP 20 THINGS THAT SHOW YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90’S 20. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 19. Your reason for not staying in touch with family members is that they do not have e-mail addresses. 18. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s homepage to your bookmarks. 17. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents. 16. Pick up lines now include…

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How to Write a College Paper

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…

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How to get a FREE MEAL!

Follow the instructions demonstrated in the dialogue shown, and YOU can get a free meal. No law-breaking is involved. This incident really happened…. Enter any eating establishment, which does NOT have a dining counter. Here’s how the conversation with the host/hostess MIGHT proceed: “I’d like to sit at the counter.” “I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t have a counter.” “Yes you do.” “No, I’m sorry, but we do not.” “You have no counter at all, in this establishment?” “No Sir,…

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Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to inclement weather she decided to top at a nice hotel for the night. She approached the front desk and requested a room. “Certainly, Madam”, the clerk replied. “Is the coffee shop still open?” she asked. “No, Madam, I’m sorry,” he replied, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select dinner from this menu?” Mary graciously scanned the menu. “Yes, I think the cauliflower with cheese would be fine,…

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20 ‘Inspirational’ Poster Lines

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings…they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation. 3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. 4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 5. Artificial Intelligence is…

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Biker Gang

A gang of bikers walk into a bar and orders a few drinks each. After 10 minutes or so, one of them notices a small man, in his 30’s, slightly overweight and balding. He whispers to the others, and they all start to walk slowly over to the table at which he is sitting. Finding him vulnerable and defenseless, they begin to tease him. Some poke him with their forks, others drop their cigarettes into his coffee, all the while…

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