Cho Jokes - page 46

Van Gogh Family Tree

After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother………………………….Please Gogh His dizzy aunt ……………………………….Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes……………………..Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store…….Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia…………………U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white……….Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois……………………….Chica Gogh His magician uncle…………………………….Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin…………………………….Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin’s American half brother……….Grin Gogh The nephew who…

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boy gets laid

A boy comes home from school one day and goes to his mom and says “Mom, Mom, guess what! I got laid today!” The mom looks at him and says “What?! You go to your room and stay there until your father comes home.” When the father comes home the mother tells him what happened to their son at school. The father goes to see the boy he says, “Well your mother told me what you did at school.” The…

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Newspaper Clip

(This is a true story from the newspaper The Cape Times, South Africa) “For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning,” a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters. “There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air condidtioning system, and search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues. However, further inquiries have now revealed…

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Thank You Note

A Junior High School in Memphis, Tennessee sponsored a luncheon for the residents of a senior citizens home. The principal of the school received the following Thank You note. * * * Dear Reyer School: God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens’ luncheon. I’m 94 years old and live at the Memphis County Home for the Aged. My family has long since passed away and I rarely have visitors. As a result, I…

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Scream for Ice Cream

A middle-aged woman took her three-year-old granddaughter, Molly, out for ice cream. She asked Molly what she wanted. Molly said, “I want banilla!” The woman said, “Honey, it’s *V*anilla. V–not B.” Molly tried saying it again, but it came out VaBanilla. After some more coaxing, Molly finally said, “Vvvvvanilla!” The woman said, “YES! Now, tell me again–what kind of ice cream do you want?” Molly said, “I think I want chocolate.”

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Who’s the Boss?

One evening a preschooler, Sarah, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting. Sarah asked, “Daddy, you’re the boss of the house, right?” Her father proudly replied, “Yes, I am the boss of the house, Baby.” Upon hearing this, Sarah added, “Cause Mommy put you in charge, right, Daddy?”

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Cold Hands

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!” She says, “Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up.” After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, “Man! My hands are really freezing!” She says again, “Well put them…

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The Classifieds

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual…

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Top 20 things to do at Taco Bell

1. Order 25 tacos at the drive-thru, then just pull off. 2. Demand to speak with that talking Chihuahua. 3. Ask for ketchup with your nachos. 4. Ask if they accept Mexican money. 5. Tell them you want a taco, but tell them without the shell. 6. Scream “VIVA GORDITAS!” the whole time you are in there. 7. Order nachos; without cheese. 8. Ask if you can super size your taco. 9. Claim that you are the voice-over guy for…

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