Cho Jokes - page 38

Lessons from History

A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” His son replied, “And when Lincoln was YOUR age, he was President of the United States.” Grounded!!!!!!!

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DATING DICTIONARY

DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of time, money, and effort to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like at present and will learn to lake a lot less in the future. EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man. EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women…

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a little blonde girl

A girl came skipping home from school one day. “Mommy Mommy”, she yelled. ” We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to ten!” “Very good”, said the mother. “Is it because I’m blonde?” asked the girl. “Yes, it’s because your blonde.” The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mommy Mommy”, she yelled “We were saying the alphabet today,and all the other kids said up to D but…

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Chicken of the Living Dead?

Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere. Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Little Johnny Strikes Again

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Little Johnny waves his hand, “Me, miss, me, me!” Teacher says “All right, little Johnny, what is your multi- syllable word?” Little Johnny says “Mas-tur-bate.” Teacher smiles and says “Wow, little Johnny, that’s a mouthful.” Little Johnny says “No, miss, you’re thinking of a blowjob. I’m talking about a wank.”

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New Teacher

A certain elementary school got a new teacher. This new teacher was an atheist and proud of it. In fact, he was always talking about it, and since the kids were fairly young, he intimidated them. One day he boldly announced, “My mother was an atheist, my father was an atheist and I’m an atheist. How many in this room are atheists?” The kids, being a little scared of him, all raised their hands; all except one little girl. So…

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The Elevator

Upon graduation from high school in a very rural area, young John was to be escorted to “the big city” by ma and pa to scout out the location of the college he would be attending next year. Ma and Pa had never been to “the big city” either, but they were sure that they would be able to safely excort their precious son and help to answer any questions he might have-since everything in “the big city” would be…

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Day at the Races

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour, some of the children needed to go to the toilet, so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other female teacher. She was to wait outside the men’s toilet. Soon one of the boys…

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right in the groove

A hippy walks into a Bar and Grill. The waiter comes up to him and asks him if he wants anything. So the Hippy says, “Yeah, a cheeseburger. Not too well done, not too rare, but right in the groove.” So the waiter brings his burger and asks if he wants anything to drink. He says, “A cup of tea. Not too hot, not too cold, but right in the Groove.” The waiter is getting annoyed, but he brings the…

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