Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…
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The teacher asked the students to bring an electrical appliance for “Show and Tell,” and the next day every kid had something. The teacher asks Wendy, “What did you bring? “I brought a Walkman.” “And what is it for?” “You can listen to music with it!” “That’s nice, Wendy. And what did you bring, Kenny?” “I brought a ‘lectrical can opener. It opens cans!” “Well done, Kenny. But it seems that Johnny didn’t bring anything!” “Yes, I did. It’s in…
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This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast l cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie Mid-Afternoon snack: The rest of Oreos in the package 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce Dinner: 2 loaves garlic bread 4 cans or…
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Your mama?s so nasty that when she goes to a hair salon, she says she needs a trim and opens up her shirt! Your mama’s so nasty she slows down Speed-Stick!! Your mama?s nose so big she makes Pinnochio look like a cat! Your mama?s so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Your mama?s so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world! Your mama?s so fat she has been declared a natural habitat…
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It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this. Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.” Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.” Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?” Before Johnny can open his mouth,…
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A Church of England vicar and a Methodist minister have been having a friendly meeting at the residence of a Catholic priest. As they start to think about leaving, the priest offered them a whisky to help them on their way. “Don’t mind if I do, thanks,” says the vicar, and is given an ample glassful. “And yourself?” says the priest to the Methodist minister. “What? Drink alcohol?” says the minister aghast. “Why, I’d rather commit adultery!!” At this the…
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There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealand men and 1 New…
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There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him and addition question. So the uncle asked, “What is three plus four?” The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, “Seven.” The uncle said, “Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday when…
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“Resumania” is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting’s parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates’ resumes, job applications and cover letters. Here’s some examples: “I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.” (And an eye on the “e” section of the dictionary, evidently.) “Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.”…
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Little Johnny asks his teacher: “How are the babies made?” Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents. When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, “Oh! that is a long story, you better speak to mother!” The mother, in her turn, says: “Oh! It is a difficult question, why don’t you better speak to granddad!” Grandfather is sitting…
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