Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
BEST MAN FOR THE JOB It is time to elect a world leader, and your vote counts. Here’s the scoop on the three leading candidates. Candidate A: associates with ward heelers and consults with astrologists. He’s had two mistresses. He chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B: was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of brandy every evening. Candidate C: is a decorated war hero.…
(1)
Loading...
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. “Why?” asks the father. “The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3?’ I said ‘6’.” “But that’s right!” “Then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?’” “What’s the fucking difference?” “That’s exactly what I said.”
(1)Loading...
A very shy man is with all his college buddies in a bar one day, and he notices a very attractive girl sitting by herself. After gathering enough courage, he finally gets up and asks her if he chould buy her a drink, whereby she screams, “NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!” The man, after being humiliated goes back to his buddies and sits down. Ten minutes later, the woman comes over to him and apologizes to him…
(2)Loading...
The American Kennel club has decided to recognize these new breeds of Dogs that are the result of cross breeding Collie + Lhaso Apso: Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. Spitz + Chow Chow: Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot. Bloodhound + Borzoi: Bloody Bore, a dog that’s not much fun. Pointer + Setter: Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet. Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier: Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries. Pekingese + Lhaso Apso:…
(0)Loading...
“I love cats…they taste just like chicken” “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” “Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death” “Cover me. I’m changing lanes.” “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in publicschools” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.” “Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.” “REHAB is for quitters” “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!” “Sometimes I…
(1)Loading...
Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…
(1)Loading...
This is the of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is about 5 or 6. One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunkbeds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his gal climb up to the top. As you might expect things start to heat up. The guy,…
(2)Loading...
An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon, asked for a small allotment of money for purchasing “behavior modification reinforcers.” Her superior saw the item and asked, “What on earth is that?” “Lollipops,” the teacher explained.
(0)Loading...
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
(0)Loading...
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now, he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” “Excuse me?” the accountant said. “I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry…
(2)Loading...