Cha cha cha Jokes - page 55

Selling Bibles

One day, Bob, who is a salesman, walked into his boss’s office. Bob said he had this friend who was a really good salesman, but he just got laid off. Bob asked if there was any chance that his boss could give him a job. His boss smiled, but said that he doesn’t like to hire people unless he meets them first. Bob then replied, “Well can’t you just give him a chance. You know, one of those trial periods.”…

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Good Heavens!

The tensions of life were threatening to get a strangle hold on Bill, and after he’d finished a good dinner, he relaxed mindlessly in a soft chair next to the stereo, with a stiff drink in his hand. His wife knew nothing of his nervous state, and she climbed onto his lap with the thought of trying to wheedle a fur coat out of him, and snuggled and murmured and fondled. “Good Heavens, Hillary,” he exploded, “Get off! I get…

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Another True DMV Story

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register. “Cash or charge?” the clerk asked. “Cash,” I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, “I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau.” “Shall I giftwrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly. “Or…

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Lovers

Two Lovers plan to commit Suicide. They were going to jump off of a cliff. The boy jumped first. The Girl closed her eyes before jumping then changed her mind saying Love is Blind. The Boy, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies

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A Baseball Hero (Sort Of…)

Coming home from his Little League championship game, Chuck was all smiles when he was greeted by his Dad who asked, “How did you do in your championship game, son?” “Great, Dad!” exclaimed Chuck. “I was responsible for the winning run!” “Really? That’s great news!” remarked his Dad. “How did you do it, son?” “I dropped the ball.”

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Beyond Reasonable Doubt

After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.” The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded. Harrison looked up, wide-eyed, and stated,…

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A Fine Feathered Friend

Charlie loved his parrot. He loved him soo much that one day he noticed that his feathers were falling off little by little. He decided to take him to the local vet to ask a doctor about the problem. “Dr. Vinnie, my parrot is losing his feathers. What can I do to solve this problem?” “Charlie, all you have to do is shave his beak with a file approximately half an inch, then his feathers will all be back when…

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Answering machines

~~~~ My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid…

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Dead Dog

A man thinking his dog was dead takes him to the vet. The vet takes the dog and runs a series of tests on him. For the last test he takes a cat out from a cage and lets the cat run up and down on the dog’s back. The vet then tells the man that the dog is indeed dead. The vet then charges the man $120. A $120 dollars! Why!!! $20 for the office call. $100 for the…

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