Cha cha cha Jokes - page 15

In Bill’s Defense…?

Hillary Rodham Clinton, role model for women who scare their husbands into cheating everywhere, has decided to have a trial separation from hubby Bill. She reportedly said that she has enough embarassment from living through a year long scandal, woman after woman, a rape charge, and having to watch Bill run to McDonalds in those really tight shorts. Hillary decided to separate herself from Bill, after trying for 17 years to separate him from evey other woman in Arkansas. She…

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Cabbies

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, “Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?” To which the mother replies, “Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come…

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Honeymoon Friction

A young couple were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, who was a big, burly guy, tossed his pants to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your pants,” she said. “That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!”…

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The World is Populated by Idiots

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial…

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Who does Jesus think he is?

One day Jesus and Moses are out golfing. Jesus is of course winning and starts to think highly of himself. They get to the top of this one hill on the tenth hole, and Jesus pulls out a five iron, when he should have clearly pulled out a nine iron. Moses walks up to him and says, “Are you crazy, you should be using a nine iron, not that five iron”. “Arnold Palmer would use this five iron”, Jesus replied.…

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Little Johnny in science class

Little Johnny sat in the back of his science class one morning. The teacher rarely called upon him during discussions because he always had a remark to make that would disrupt the class. The teacher came into the classroom with an embalmed cat and said they would study anatomy that day. She asked what was holding the cat’s tail onto its body. Little Johnny waved his hand frantically, but the teacher called on someone else who gave the answer “skin.”…

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Back to the Drawing Board

Sometimes advertising campaigns backfire. Here are a few true examples. 1. Coors translated it’s slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.” 2. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick” curling iron into Germany, where they later found out that ‘mist’ is the German equivalent of shit. 3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market to coincide with the Pope’s visit. But instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the…

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Almost Got It

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”

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