Dog & Husband
The following was a bumper sticker I saw: “HUSBAND AND DOG MISSING… REWARD FOR DOG”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bu Jokes - page 89
Is that Really You?
Jake and Saul are two old widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on one another. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Saul opens the morning paper and turns to the “Obits” page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realizes that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier was in preparation for this event. He correctly…
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Thar She Blows!
Suzie had a crush on Mikey since she was 15 years old. Mikey never paid Suzie any attention. Every year Suzie would try to get Mikey to notice her but he just wasn’t interested. Finally, when Suzie turned 18, she began to come of age, and sure enough, Mikey noticed. Suzie looked so pretty and grown-up that Mikey asked her for a date on a Friday night!! She was so excited all that week that she could hardly wait for…
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Horsie Ride for Little Johnny
Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peaks in and catches his folks in the act. Before daddy can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, “Oh boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride your back?” Daddy, relieved that Johnny’s not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees… Johnny hops on daddy and starts…
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NASA
A short excerpt from the first solo Canadian space flight. The lone Canadian is guided by NASA and the ship contains himself and two pigs. Naturally the NASA ground technicians are upset over the lack of an American. During the flight the following conversation was recorded between ground control and the crew: NASA: Hello, this is Ground Control for Pig 1. Pig 1, are you reading me? CP1: This is pig 1 for Ground Control. Reading you loud and clear.…
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Stocks on the Brain
Two stockbrokers went to lunch. One looked at the other and said, “Let’s relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market or any kind of business at all.” “Good idea, Sam. Let’s talk about women.” “OK…common or preferred???”
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Big Nut
A man walks into his doctor’s office complaining about a swollen testicle. “My testicle has swelled up to 5 times its normal size, Doc! Can you help me?” “Well let’s take a look,” says the doctor. “I’m kind of embarrassed,” said the man. “You have to promise me you won’t laugh.” “Sir, I’m a doctor. I see this sort of thing all the time. Of course I won’t laugh.” So the man unzipped his pants and a huge testicle plopped…
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Two nuns
Two nuns were walking down the alley. The first was fond of mathematics and the second one was fond of logic. They noticed that a man was following them and it was obvious, that he had bad intentions. The first nun, being fond of math, told the other one: “If we continue walking at this pace, he will catch us in —– minutes.” But the second nun thought logically and said: “If we go in different directions, he will go…
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Big plane, little plane
One day a curious little boy went to his mom and said “Mommy mommy, I’ve noticed that big dogs have litlle dogs and big cats have little cats, so how come big planes don’t have little planes?” The mother looked at her boy and said, “I don’t know, ask your father.” So the boy goes and finds his dad. “Daddy, Daddy!” he yelled. “Why do big dogs have little dogs and big cats have little cats, but big planes don’t…
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A Jewish Dilemma
A Jewish girl came home one day and said, “Ma, I got married.” Her mother said, “Oy, that’s great.” The girl said, “But Ma, he’s an Arab.” Her mother said, “Oy, that’s not so great.” The girl said, “But Ma, he’s an Arab sheik. He’s wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your lives.” Six months later the Jewish girl walked into the house and said,…
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