Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An elderly spinster called a lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don’t like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?” The receptionist checked…
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Many years ago, a girlfriend of mine attempted to introduce “culture” into my dismal life, by taking me to our nation’s finest museums, art galleries and concert halls. I was genuinely impressed with her love of the arts, and made a serious attempt to learn, but I guess I forgot to mention to her that “creating humor” is ALSO an “art.” On one journey to a nice art gallery, we marveled at a life-sized replica of the statue of the…
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A 7 year old boy and his brother were upstairs in the bedroom. The 7 year old was explaining that it was high time that the two begin swearing. When the little brother responded enthusiastically, the 7 year old hatched a plann, “When we go down stairs for breakfast this morning, I’ll say `Hell` and you say `Ass`. The 4 year old happily agreed. As the two boys were seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walked in and…
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One day, a Newfie, a Quebecer and an Albertan were walking down the street when they came across an old lamp. The Newfie picked it up and gave it a good rub. Lo and behold, out popped a genie. The genie said, “I’ve been imprisoned in that lamp for 2000 years and since you have released me, I will give each of you one wish.” The Newfie thought about it for a minute and said, “Well, my granfather was a…
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During a performance for the high school drama class at the local theater, a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until little Freddy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee. He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the back of the theater shouted: “Don’t worry, Freddy! It’s just a stage you’re going through!”
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After undergoing complicated brain surgery, Lena suddenly fell into a coma. The doctors tried very hard to resuscitate her but to no avail. As she lay unconscious in the intensive care unit, her husband Tom was ushered to her bedside. One of the doctors said in a quiet somber voice, “She fell into a coma during the operation. I’m sorry but we did everything possible to revive her. The prognosis is not good. Unless she regains consciousness soon, we’re ruling…
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A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse-racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The…
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One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, “I’ll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was.” An Irish boy raised his hand and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sean, that’s not correct.” Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew.” The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.” Finally,…
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A tourist was passing through a small town one day. He went into a tavern to get a beer and he saw all the locals sitting around shouting out numbers and laughing. He asked a man at the table next to him what was going on. The guy answered “We’ve been telling the same jokes over and over for years now, so for convenience we’ve numbered all our jokes. We simply yell out the number instead of telling the entire…
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Clinton died and went to heaven-or to be more accurate-approached the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. “It’s me, Bill Clinton” “And what do you want?” asked St. Peter. “Lemme in!” replied Clinton. “Soooo,” pondered Peter. “What bad things did you do on earth?” Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. I guess I had extra-marital…
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