Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off. 2. Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough. 3. Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 4. Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 5. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich,…
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Two dwarfs won the lottery and booked into a swank motel for a night of fun. They were down the lobby getting sloshed when a couple of prostitutes walked in and asked them if they wanted some action. “Sure do!” one proclaimed as they made their way up to the rooms. “See ya in the morning, mate,” the first dwarf said to the other as he put his arm around one of the prostitutes and went into his room. But…
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One…
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Q: what do Monica Luinski and a Coke machine have incommon? A: they both say insert Bill here Bill used to play the saxiphone but know he plays the HORMONICA
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A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined!” “It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer. “Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” “No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court.” Within the course of time, the judge rendered a…
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The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two…
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A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.” “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.” The lawyer thought for a second and then asked, “How do you start a flood?”
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Father Delany was walking home after his sermon late one night when he came upon an intoxicated tramp on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the man, “Do you live here?” “Yesh,” the man slowly replied. “Would you like me to help you upstairs?” the father asked. “Yesh,” the man slowly sputtered. When they got up to the second floor, the father asked, “Is this your floor?” “Yesh,” the man again replied. Then Father Delany got to thinking that…
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A penguin is driving in the middle of a desert and his car breaks down. Luckily he sees a gas station a little further down the road, so he coasts on in and tells the mechanic something is wrong with his car. Then he goes inside the gas station while the mechanic determines what’s wrong and buys an ice cream. The penguin walks out of the gas station and the mechanic says, “It looks like you blew a seal!” and…
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While his wife is away a man decides to take the opportunity to paint the toilet seat. His wife comes home sooner than expected, sits on the toilet seat, and gets it stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to take her to the doctor to get it removed painlessly. She puts on a large overcoat to cover herself and the seat and away they go. When they get to the doctor’s office…
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