Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Saturday morning, Phil arrives at the club for a golf date when he remembers that he forgot to let his wife know that Sears is delivering the new couch around noon. He picks up the phone in the lounge and calls home. “Hello”, says a little girl’s voice. “Hi, honey, it’s Daddy. Can I speak to Mommy please.” “No, Daddy, she’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Ted. This stops Phil for a moment. “Sweetie, you don’t have an Uncle…
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An old lady and her husband are walking to their house one night after an evening out on the town. She hears a buzzing noise and searches throughout the house to see what it is but can’t figure it out. So she goes in to her daughter’s room to find her on the end of her bed with a vibrator. The old lady says, “What the hell are you doing!!??” The daughter replies, “Mom, I am 40 years old, I’m…
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This pedophile was bringing a kid into the woods. The woods were dark and dreary and full of sounds . The kid got scared and looked up to the man and said, “All these noises and sounds are really scary!” The guy looks back at the kid and says, “It’s ok for you, but I’ve got to come back this way on my own.”
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1. HOTFLASHES You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. NIGHT SWEATS The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. 3. MOOD SWINGS Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 4. MEMORY LOSS You write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. 5. IRRITABILITY Your husband…
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Finishing their shopping at the mall, a couple discovers that their brand-new car was stolen. They file a report at the police station, and a detective drives them back to the parking lot to look for evidence. To their amazement, the car has been returned and there’s a note in it that says “I apologize for taking your car. My wife was having a baby and I hot-wired your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience.…
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This thoroughly modern young couple, more than slightly hung over from last night’s party, were having a mid-afternoon breakfast. What a party that had been! A real swinging affair, no holds barred. “Darling,” said the husband, “this is … er … slightly embarrassing, but I think I should ask. Was it YOU I made love to in the library last night?” His wife looked thoughtful for a minute and then said, “About what time?”
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1. The teller says, “Welcome to Burger… First State Bank, may I take your order?” 2. Founders: Dowee, Cheetum, and Howe. 3. Interest Rate on loans: 40.99 % 4. Bank run out of double-wide trailer. Which has been blown over FIVE times. 5. Slogan: “We want your money… uh business.” 6. Instead of candy kids get their very own HAPPY pills. 7. All cash deposits go directly into teller’s pants. 8. Valuables safely stored in a Pizza Hut box. 9.…
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A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside…
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A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game. “I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!”
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A businessman was flying over Chicago in his small airplane when suddenly the engine stopped. He reached behind the seat, grabbed his parachute and bailed out of the plane. On the way down to earth he met a woman wearing an apron going up. He shouted to her, “Hey lady, do you know anything about parachutes?” She replied, “No sir, do you know anything about gas stoves?”
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