Bu Jokes - page 242

Antz

Three ants, Joe, Bob, and Billy, were living in an ant hill right in the middle of a woman’s yard. They were sleeping peacefully, until they were suddenly awakened by water rushing down and flooding the hill. The three friends barely escaped. Having lost their home, they decided to enter the house and find somewhere to sleep. They walked into the woman’s bedroom, and began talking over their “room” assignments. Joe had decided to sleep in one of the woman’s…

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Candid Camera

A friend of mine works in a camera store. The other day a very confused-looking woman approached the counter and handed my friend a camera. She said, “I took pictures, but I forgot to put film in the camera. Can you please get them out of the camera for me?”

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The new employee

A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied, indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom, and I’ll show you how.”

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School Discipline

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze…

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theblindman

There was a nun taking a bath one day. Suddenly she hears a knock on the door. “Who is it?” the nun says. “Blind man,” the guy says. “I’m busy right now,” says the nun. Suddenly she hears another knock again. “Who is it?” says the nun. “Blind man. Hurry up!” says the guy. The nun thought since it was only a blind man, he couldn’t see her. So the nun gets out the tub and she’s butt naked. She…

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Some ‘Deep’ Thoughts

* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station… * If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with “quit while you’re ahead”? * I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. They’re cramming for their “finals”. * I thought about how mothers feed their…

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Hoozango!

On President Clinton’s trip to Africa, he took a trip to one of the less populated areas to see how the native tribespeople lived. He was escorted to a small village far from the beaten path. When he was introduced to the tribal chieftain he asked if he could speak to the villagers in order to spread the message of democracy. The chief obliged, assembling his tribesmen and bade President Clinton to speak. “In America,” he began, “we have a…

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Little Johnnie learns the word Fascinate

Little Johnnie’s teacher asked the students to use the word FASCINATE in a sentence. Susie raised her hand and the teacher called on her. She said, “The stars really are fascinating.” The teacher said, “No Susie, I wanted you to use just ‘fascinate’.” Scottie raised his hand and was called on. He said, “The museum we went to last week fascinated me.” Again the teacher said, “No Scottie, I wanted you to use just ‘fascinate’.” Finally Johnnie raised his hand…

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Read JokeLittle Johnnie learns the word Fascinate