Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. After he drinks it he looks into his shirt pocket shakes his head and asks for another one. This goes on for a few hours until the bartender starts getting curious. He walks up to the man and asks him what the hell he’s doing. “This is the way it goes”, he answers, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I drink until she looks good…
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A man enters a cafe and sits down. He notices that the special of the day is chili. When the waitress comes to take his order he says, “I would like a bowl of chili.” “I’m sorry, the gentleman next to you got the last bowl,” says the waitress. “I’ll just have coffee then,” the man says. After a while, he notices that the guy next to him is finishing a rather large meal and the chili is still there.…
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Two blondes were vacationing in Ontario, Canada when they drove past a roadsign which said PENETANGUISHENE 30 km. They argued for the next twenty minutes about how to pronounce Penetanguishene when the driver said to her friend, “You’re just an ignorant slut, Candy.” And Candy replied “And you’re just a stubborn donkey-fucker, Gloria.” And Candy said, “Let’s have lunch.” So, inside the restaurant, Gloria said to the guy behind the counter, “Hey, Sport, do us a favor and pronounce where…
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Dancer Isadora Duncan once suggested to Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw that eugenics indicated they should have a child together. “Think of it! With my body and your brains, what a wonder it would be,” she said. Shaw replied, “Yes, but what if it had my body and your brains?”
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A big-shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. Se came into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.” After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down,…
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One day a man was at home with his dog when the dog fell over as if he had passed out. The man took his dog to the vet and asked the vet what was wrong with his dog. The vet answered, “Your dog is dead sir.” The man insisted that the vet was wrong and demanded a second opinion, so the vet brought in a cat. The cat walked around the dog and let out a loud meow. The…
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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour. We know…
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending…
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So far today, God, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or ever-indulgent. I’m really glad about that. But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help. Thank you, in Jesus name, Amen.
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Recently, a radio talk show host in Portland, Ore., asked her audience to come up with an official name for the new Clinton $1.7 million house in Chappaqua, New York. Her call-in contest required the names to be in relatively good taste, original, and should capture the essence of one or both of the Clintons. The response was overwhelming! Some names nominated for the Clinton’s new home included: Perjurers’ Palace HillBilly Villa The House of Bill’s Repute Drawers Downs Cheatem…
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