Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious, comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above. “Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.” “Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create…
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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate ship. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed…
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Cover charge: $15.00 Round of drinks: $23.00 Table dance: $30.00 Another round of drinks: $23.00 Couch dance and tips: $50.00 A round of shots: $34.00 Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00 Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: PRICELESS!!! Some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MasterCard!
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Bill rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Bill smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it’s quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Bill breaks out into a sweat trying…
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An airoplane is about to crash land. The pilot yells over the intercom to the passengers to throw something out the window so that the crash won’t be as bad. A young irish blonde throws out a case o whisky, a big english bloke lobs out a case o cigs and an Iraq phsyco throws out a bomb. Five minutes later a women is walking along a street. She see’s a little girl crying. “What’s the matter dear?” she asks.…
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A man and his wife took a golfing trip up to Minnosota. Neither of them did very good so they decided to go to golf lessons. The guy went first. The instrunctor told him to grip the clubs like he holds his wifes breasts. He swings and hits the ball 285 yards down the fairway. Then its the womans turn. The instructor tells her to hold the club like she holds her husbands penis. So she swings and hits the…
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A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, whom he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. “Were these dishes EVER washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. “She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.” He felt quite apprehensive, but not wanting to offend, blessed…
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A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.” The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist…
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“When I was a youngster,” complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, “I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player.” “So what do you do when your son misbehaves?” asked his friend. “I send him to OUR room.”
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15 Things NOT to Say When Youare Pulled Over 15. No, YOU assume the position. 14. I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special! 13. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket? 12. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I’m not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog. 11. No, I don’t know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph. 10. Back…
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