Breast man Jokes - page 5

Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Firm This Up

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, “You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.” While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his wife with a squeeze of her breast and said, “You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.”…

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Screw Chainletters

Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…

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Well, she was different!

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience, she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery, she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her…

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Honeymoon gifts

The day before his wedding this guy decides to play a game of baseball with his buddies. Playing shortstop he gets hit in the ‘nads with a line drive. He goes to the doctor in a lot of pain, but the doctor tells him there is nothing he can do except wrap it up. So the doc takes a few tongue depressors and wraps it in a splint. The next night on his honeymoon his lovely wife comes to him…

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Between Us Girls . . .

For years and years they told me, “Be careful of your breasts. Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them And give them monthly tests.” So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully And always wore a bra. After 40 years of careful care, The doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram To look inside that clump. “Stand up very close,” she said, As she got my breast in line. “And tell me…

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Elevator

A guy in an elevator hits a woman in the breast with his elbow and says “I’m sorry, if your heart is as soft as your breast you will forgive me.” The woman replies “If the rest of you is as hard as your elbow I’m in room 222!”

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Longstanding Wish

Ahmed was a high-ranking courtier in King Akbar’s court. However, he had one longstanding wish–to suck the queen’s voluptuous breasts to his mind’s desire. Every time he passed the queen, he would get frustrated. He would spend the entire day thinking of ways of achieving this, but knew King Akbar’s sword would meet his neck if he did so. One day he revealed his desire to Birbal, the King’s trusted advisor, and begged him to do something about it. Birbal,…

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Facelift

A woman goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. “Well”, says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you will have to come back in six months for a follow-up.” “Oh no!” the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back.” The doctor thinks for a few seconds, then offers, “There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your…

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How to respond to e-mail ads….

You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…

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