Brain Jokes - page 9

Doctor’s News

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, “I have to tell you something about your baby.” The woman sits up in bed and says,”What’s wrong with my baby, Doctor? What’s wrong???” The doctor says, “Well, now, nothing’s wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite.” The woman says, “A hermaphrodite…. what’s that???” The doctor says, “Well, it means your baby has the…er..features …of a…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeDoctor’s News

Little Known Facts

Did you know that.. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with. If the population of China walked past you in…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLittle Known Facts

The Ten C’s of Internet Using

1. Connection – Heh… what connection? 2. Complicated – Once you finally connect to the Internet (see #1), the thing that they don’t tell you when you get the Internet is how impossible it is to use if you have never used it before. They all think it is sooo easy, and I probably would think it was easy too if I programmed it. If you are dedicated enough to actually try to figure it out, that is close to…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Ten C’s of Internet Using

The Stewardess

The Jumbo 747 had just reached cruising altitude on the flight from New York to Los Angeles when stewardess Cathy Moran brought the Captain and the Co-pilot hot cups of fresh coffee. “Thanks, gorgeous”, winked Captain Prescott. “You come up here and sit with me any time you want.” Cathy Moran was not flattered by his flirtations but she smiled and withdrew to resume her passenger duties. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” announced the pilot over the P.A. “This is your Captain…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeThe Stewardess

A warning from the judge

The Old Witness A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA warning from the judge

Coming to grips with illness

A man goes to his doctor for a check up and the doctor says:- “I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re going to die, and you only have six months left.” When the poor bloke gets home, he tells his wife he has AIDS and only has six months to live and goes out for a beer. He gets pissed up and tells all his mates he has AIDS and only six months left. Two days later…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeComing to grips with illness

Did They Really Say That?

Commentary by Ernest Murray “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann. “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” – A senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh. “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” – Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach. “That’s so when I forget how to spell…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDid They Really Say That?

Tennis Presciption

A manager has to take up some sport, his doctor said, so he decided to play tennis. After a couple of weeks, his secretary asks him how he’s doing. “It’s going fine,” the manager says. “When I’m on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, “TO THE CORNER! BACKHAND! TO THE NET! SMASH! GO BACK! “Really? What happens then?” the girl asks, enthusiastically. “Then my body says, ‘Who, ME? Don’t talk nonsense!’”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTennis Presciption

Two News

Doctor : I have a bad news and an even worse news for you, Mr. Johnson. Johnson : Well..I’m ready. What’s the bad one? Doctor : You have a tumor in your brain, and about 24 hours left to live. Johnson : Now, what possibly can be a worse news than that? Doctor : Well..I’m very sorry Mr. Johnson. It’s just that I should’ve told that yesterday.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTwo News