Body c Jokes - page 11

Scientific Conclusion

A research scientist was assigned to do a test to determine the influences of body shapes in distance jumping. So, the scientist decided to use a frog for this research. He positioned the frog on a surface that was marked off in feet and inches. He said :”Jump frog jump” and the frog jumped 7 ft. The scientist recorded this observation: Conclusion: Frog with 4 legs , jumps 7 feet. Then he cut off 1 leg and said “Jump, frog…

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Over 50 Ways to get rid of Blind Dates

1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…

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temel bir gun….:P

Somebody Translate this one!!! I’ve just gotta know! (comedy.com management) temel ispanya’da bir lokantaya gitmis:bana g?n?n en ozel yemegini getirin demis.garson getirmis. temel: “ben bunu cok begendim da bu ne etidir?”demis. garson: “boga guresinde yenilen bogan?n etidir.”demis temel bi hafta sonra yine gitmis ama bu sefer begenmemis: “ha gecenki daha guzeldi bunun tadi niye farkli?” garson: “her zaman yenilen boga olmuyor.”demis…..ehuehuehueueu

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Top 10 Founding Fathers’ Pick Up Lines

10. “I hold this truth to be self-evident — you’re a babe.” 9. “I’ve just gone through a terrible break-up with Betsy Ross and I don’t think I should be alone tonight.” 8. “Some people call me the ‘Fondling Father’.” 7. “You know what they say about men with big signatures.” 6. “My teeth aren’t the only thing made of wood.” 5. “If somebody ever invents the telephone, can I give you a call?” 4. “All men are not created…

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Three Little Words

A fellow was joined at the bar by a beautiful woman who soon approached the man with an offer. “I’ll make your dreams come true,” she whispered, “for a hundred and fifty dollars.” “That’s a lot of money,” the guy pointed out, admiring her voluptuous body. “I’m worth it,” she assured him breathily. “For a hundred and fifty dollars, I’ll act out any fantasy. In fact, I can make any three words come true. Just dream them up, baby.” Any…

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Just Like Dave Bronson – A Perfect Guy

A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Dave.” “Who?” “Dave Bronson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave.” “There are always a few clouds over everybody.” “Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro…

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Famous police quotes

“Your life is not my fault.” “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” “Take you hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” “Remember, when you gotta cuff ’em… nobody is your friend.” “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” “That says POLICE, not taxi!” “Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?” “So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess…

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His Big Day

Little Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had plenty of time to eat a good breakfast and get ready on the first day, his mother woke everybody up early–so early that it was still dark. After looking outside, Little Johnny went down the hall and found his mother dressing in the bedroom. He looked so troubled that his mother asked, “What’s wrong?” mustering as much cheerfulness into her voice as she could…

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So..you want to date my daughter?

Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…

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Scuba Diving

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. “We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.” “Well, tell me!” the man said. The policeman said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?” Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the…

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