Boar Jokes - page 7

Diver Down

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever. The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, but minutes later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, “How the heck are…

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Oops!

Zack volunteered for military service during WWII. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola, skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific. On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeros. Then, climbing up…

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Don’t pee in the pool

A guy was staying in a fancy hotel and was enjoying the pool when the manager told him quite bluntly to get out. When asked for the reason, the manager said, “Because you peed in the pool.” “Well,” replied the swimmer, “lots of people do that.” “True,” answered the manager, “but you did it from the diving board.”

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Grandma’s pee

A bus, whose doors are open all the time was riding through town. In comes an old woman, and as she find herself a seat, she suddenly felt the urge to pee. Unfortunately, her stop is still far away, so she decided to pee out of the bus’s door when no one is looking. As the bus rides, she went to the most back door, lifted her skirt and peed. Unfortunately though, some of her pee landed in a young…

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A Poem For Those Over 30…

A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note A window was something you hated to clean And ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was a job for the nights Now they all mean different things And that really mega bytes. An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano. Memory was something that you…

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Sex at sea

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away…

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Some things to consider….

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? Hard work will pay off later. Laziness pays off now! If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help. When blondes have more fun, do they know it? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot. Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking? A hangover is…

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Yo Mama and Yo Family…..

Yo family is so poor, i was at your house and i had to use the bathroom, and your mama said “third bucket on the left.” Yo family is so poor, i stepped on a cigarette in the floor, and your mama said “who turned down the heat?” Yo family is so poor, i was riding on a skateboard i found in your front yard, and your mama came out and said, “get off the family car!” Yo mama is…

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Airline Bloopers

From a disgruntled Airline employee…. “Welcome aboard ZZZ Airlines Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If…

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