Bil Jokes - page 21

Total Recall

When I was troubled by my apparent inability to remember certain details, I began to panic. A friend who really cared, suggested I get a computer software program called, “DEVELOP THE POWER OF TOTAL RECALL!” Excitedly, I bought it at a computer store and rushed it home to place in my CD-ROM drive. As soon as I put it in my computer, the following message flashed on my monitor screen; “INSUFFICIENT MEMORY”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTotal Recall

WWJD?

By now, you’ve probably all seen the new “slogan” that’s gotten every preacher’s attention coast to coast: WWJD, or What Would Jesus Do…. Contemplating that very question, here are some possibilities: 1. Call his Dad. Find out why Dad and Mom never got married. 2. Have dinner with eleven close friends and the one guy he just doesn’t like. 3. Get some sleep. 4. Hang around for a while and catch some sun. 5. Get up early on Sunday, even…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWWJD?

tired of winter

One day a man was sick and tired of winter so he tied his snow shoes on the top of his car and drove south. When he got to Kansas City he pulled over and asked if any one knew what was on top of his car. Someone said, “Aren’t they snow shoes?” “Yes,” he replied and got back in his car then drove further south. Finally he got to S.Carolina and pulled into a gas station. Pointing to the…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joketired of winter

Killed a Pig

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. “What happened to you?”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeKilled a Pig

The Jerk

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeThe Jerk

Horse Country

A man named Joe was traveling through the countryside and decided to stop at a bar for a drink. Inside, some of the local patrons were watching the evening news on TV. As a picture of Hillary flashed on the screen, Joe said, “There’s a horse’s ass.” Right after he said this, a man walked up to him and knocked him off his stool. A few seconds later, the news showed Chelsea Clinton. Joe said, “There’s another horse’s ass.” As…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHorse Country

Cow Surprised

One day a little boy was watching some cows in a field. There was a brown cow, a white cow and a bull. After a few mintues the boy runs into the house where his home is. “Mommy, the bull is fucking the brown cow!” the boy says “Now Billy, that is not what we say, we say the bull surprised the brown cow.” The little boy leaves and then comes back a little while later. “Mommy, mommy!” the boys…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeCow Surprised

Clinton and Oklahoma City Tornado

I’m not sure if there is any truth to this, but it sure was funny. In anticipation of President Clinton’s visit to Oklahoma City, after tornadoes struck on May 3rd, one homeowner, whose home was destroyed, spray painted on what was left of his home, “HEY BILL, HOW’S THIS FOR A BLOW JOB?!” Before Clinton came, the Secret Service made him get rid of it.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeClinton and Oklahoma City Tornado

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

Just match the Chinese interpretation to the English and speak Chinese in just 5 min! E: Are you harboring a fugitive? C: Hu Yu Hai Ding? E: See me A.S.A.P. C: Kum Hia Nao E: Stupid Man C: Dum Gai E: Your price is too high! C: No Bai Dam Ting! E: Did you go to the beach? C: Wai Yu So Tan? E: I bumped into a coffee table C: I Bang Mai Ni E: I think you need…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeLearn Chinese in 5 Minutes