Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman walks into a confession booth and says, “Forgive me Father for I have sined.” “Whatever troubles you child?” said the Priest. The woman answered, “Last night, my boyfriend came over and we made passionate love five times.” The Priest thought for a moment, then replied, “Go home and suck the juice from five sour lemons.” “Then will I be forgiven?” asked the women. “No,” replied the Priest, “but it will take that big smile off your face.”
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The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming…
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An elderly couple were having trouble remembering things. The man advised the woman that he thought they should see a doctor. Both agreed and went to the doctor. The doctor stated that was no big problem and that it is easily cured. “Get yourself a tablet and when you think of something write it on the tablet.” The couple returned home. Later that evening the man asked the woman if she would kindly get him a glass of ice water.…
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Don’t squat with your spurs on. Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a raindance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is t’ swaller. Iffin you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. Iffin it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t. It don’t take no genius…
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Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all…
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After the revivals had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodiest minister said, “The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families.” The Baptist preacher said, “We did better than that! We gained six new families.” The Presbyterian pastor said, “Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our ten biggest troublemakers!”
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Ray gets a call from his blonde girlfriend Gloria. “I’ve got problem, Ray, and I need your help.” “What’s the trouble, Gloria?” replies Ray. “I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it’s too hard. None of it fits together and I can’t find any of the edge pieces.” “What’s it a picture of?” Ray asks. “It’s a big rooster,” says Gloria. “OK, I’ll come and have a look,” says Ray, so he drives to Gloria’s house. She leads him to the…
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You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…
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Two vampires wanted to go out to eat, but were having a little trouble deciding where to go. They were a little tired of the locals in Transylvania and wanted something a little more exotic. After some discussion, they decided to go to Italy. So off they went to Italy and ended up in Venice. On a bridge over one of the canals, they hid in the shadows and waited for dinner. A few minutes later, they noticed a young…
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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