Bet Jokes - page 75

Breast Obsessed

A middle-aged man had an obsession with women’s breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem. “I am going to do a word association test, explained the doctor. I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that comes into your mind.” “Oranges,” said the doctor. “Breasts,” replied the patient. “Apples.” “Breasts.” “Watermelons.” “Breasts.” “Windshield wipers.” “Breasts,” said the patient, with the same reply. “Wait a minute! I can…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBreast Obsessed

Love of the Game

A Boston man sits on his living room couch watching the American League Championship Series between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. In comes his wife, huffing and puffing, and stands in front of the television screen. At that exact moment, Red Sox shortstop, Nomar Garciaparra, hits a two-run homer. “Stan!” she yelled. “I think you love the Red Sox more than you love me.” “You know what?” the said, full of rage. “Right now I love…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLove of the Game

Awkward Stage

“Mum, can I ask you something?” “Sure! What about?” “Well, you see, I’m already fourteen, and I think it’s proper that I should own one now.” “And what is this ‘one’ you’re referring to?” “Could you buy me a neat set of bras?” “No.” “But, Mum, my nipples are already prominent, and they catch attention.” “Nope.” “It will hide them better….” “I said NO!” “But all of my friends wear….!” “DAVID! How many times must I tell you that bras…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAwkward Stage

What he says, What he really means

“Haven’t I seen you before?” “Nice ass.” “I’m a Romantic.” “I’m poor.” “I need you” “My hand is tired.” “I am different from all the other guys” “I am not circumcised.” “I really want to get to know you better.” “So I can tell my friends about it.” “It’s just orange juice, try it.” “3 more shots, and she’ll have her legs around my head.” “She’s kinda cute.” “I want to have sex with her till I am blue.” “I…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhat he says, What he really means

cold blooded Sergeant

The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokecold blooded Sergeant

It begins with MEN

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all our problems start with MEN? Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a sixpack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A: Because…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeIt begins with MEN