Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was a contest held in Japan, the contest was between three Ninjas from different countries. There was a Japanese Ninja, an American Ninja and a Trinidadian Ninja. The contest was who can chop flies the best. So the Japanese Ninja went first, the fly came flying about and in a flash the Japanese Ninja chopped the fly in half with one strike, the crowed went wild. The American Ninja went next and with great speed and skill the fly…
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A blond says to her boyfriend, ” Sweetie while you’re out I want to repaint our bedroom” The boyfriend replies, “Ok” When he gets home he finds his girlfriend lying in a pile of sweat wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat. He then asks her, “Why are you wearing two jackets?” She replies, “Well on the paint can it said put on two coats for better results.
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Two men were riding in a car when the driver of the car ran a red light. The passenger, scared of getting pulled over — or worse — warned the driver, “You’d better be careful, you’ll get a ticket!” The driver replied, “It’s okay, my brother does it all of the time.” A little further up the road the driver ran yet another red light and treated it with the same regard as the first. Before the passenger could say…
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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Q: What’s the difference between brown nosing and shit-faced? A: Depth perception.
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I?ve learned… that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, and hope they panic and give in. I?ve learned… that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I?ve learned… that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I?ve learned… that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you?d better have a big dick or huge tits. I?ve…
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What is the difference between a Peeping Tom and a person who just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey; the other is nude and rosey.
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“Winterize your lawn,” the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I’ve fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I’m supposed to winterize it? I hope it’s too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we’ve come up with, outside of thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne’s lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through…
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Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? Why is the alphabet in that order? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? Do fish get cramps after eating? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”? Why is there only one Monopolies commission? Why do scientists call it “re”search when looking for something new?
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Q: What is the differance between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb
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