Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? I hope you remember my story when they start getting frustrated. My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month…
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A homeless drunk scrapes up all his change one day and heads for his favorite liquor store. He places $5.00 in change on the counter and says, “Max give me four bottles of the cheapest ripple ya got!” Eager with his score, he immediately downs all four bottles and passes out in an alley. Along about 1:30am a disgruntled fag happens by after striking out at the local gay bar. Spying the passed out drunk, he decides to relive himself.…
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Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all our problems start with MEN? Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a sixpack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A: Because…
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A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lb. due to very serious health risk. As he wondered how the heck he was ever going to do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. “Guaranteed like hell,” he thought to himself, but desperate, he called them up and subscribed to the 3-day, 10-lb. weight loss program. The next day there was a knock at the door and when he answered,…
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1. Hey baby, why don’t you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that POPS up!!! 2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), “If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!” 3. Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 4.If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? 5. Fuck me if I’m wrong….but haven’t we met before? 6. Do…
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Santa Claus: An engineer’s perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II.…
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. “Well, my wife ain’t home. She’s gone down to the crick to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got,” said the man. The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn’t interested. Then the…
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* If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. * Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down. * Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to find that perfect present….again. * If you ask a question you don’t want an answered, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. * Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. * Sunday sports — it’s like the full moon, or the…
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A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day’s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises. “I’m afraid not, Sir,” the clerk told him, apologetically, “but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.” Skeptical, but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted 50 cents, stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine…
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