Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Little Johnny was in church with his mom and dad. This Sunday they happened to be sitting behind a woman whose dress was full of static electricity. When she stood up to sing the next hymn, her dress got stuck in the crack of her butt. Little Johnny, being very naughty, reached out and grabbed her dress and pulled it out of her crack. “JOHNNY!” cried his mother, “Don’t ever do that again!” The woman in the dress was also…
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With Viagra being such a hit, Pfizer is introducing a new line of drugs aimed at improving the performance of women in today’s society: DRIVEAGRA: One dose of this drug prior to leaving on a car trip will eliminate the woman’s constant compulsion to critique a man’s driving ability. Allows her to understand that she cannot drive from the passenger seat. MEMORAGRA: One tablet taken daily allowed 95% of women tested the ability to forget things their husbands said or…
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A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. “This place” the guide told them, “is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years.” “Wow!” said one woman, dryly. “They must have the same landlord I have.”
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A guy is strolling down the street in Chicago where he comes across an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it vigorously, and out pops a genie. The genie offers to grant him one wish, to which the guy replies “I’ve always wanted to be lucky.” The genie grants his wish. So off the guy strolls, wondering how this will change his life, when he spies 10 dollars on the sidewalk. Not a bad start he thinks. As he…
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Three men had gotten drunk one night, and they all somehow ended up naked in the same bed. They woke up the next morning confused, but the guy on the end, obviously still half-asleep, began to talk. “I had the best dream last night. I was making love to this gorgeous woman all night long. It was just awesome.” He began to go through the details, explaining what they did and what it was like. “Say,” he started, “What did…
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, asshole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?…
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Philip II, king of Macedonia, like Alexander the Great, had the reputation of being a heavy drinker. Once when drunk he gave an unjust verdict in the case of a woman who was being tried before him. “I appeal!” cried the unfortunate litigant. “To whom?” asked the monarch, who was also the highest tribunal in the land. “From Philip drunk to Philip sober,” was the bold reply. The king, somewhat taken back, gave the case further consideration.
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ATTRACTION The act of associating horniness with a particular person. DATING The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. EASY A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man. EYE CONTACT A method utilized by a woman to communicate to a man that she is interested…
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I, the undersigned, a male proposing marriage agree that? Section 1. In the likely event of my not giving you an orgasm, will keep on going, despite my lack of stamina and size until you have been satisfied. Section 1.01. I?ll behave myself in a mature manner and fight the temptation to scream ?Who?s your daddy? and grunt like a sea lion. Section 1.02. I will never complain about too much foreplay. Section 2. I fully understand that a man?s…
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Each morning, a self-righteous, nosy cab driver would drive a man to his place of employment and would later return to drive the man’s wife to her place of employment…a brothel. During a conversation one morning with the man, the nosy cab driver smugly stated, “I don’t mean to be prying, but did you know that each morning after dropping you off at work, I return and take your wife and drop her off at a brothel where she works?”…
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