Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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Q: Did you hear about the actress who sat in the bathtub all afternoon? A: She wanted to be in a soap opera!
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…
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Ten Things Whipped Guys Do 10. Asks if there is anything more he can do for her (wihout sarcasm). 9. Goes to the store to get stuff for her and likes it. 8. Leaves fresh towels in the bathroom. 7. Actually listens to her problems and will turn off the tv to do so. 6. Gives a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 5. Gives her a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 4.…
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EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE AUTOMATED IN THE FUTURE. Even Emergency 911: “Thank you for calling Emergency 911.If you’re being murdered, press 1. If you’re suffering from a split personality, press 2,3 and 4. If you’re battling Satan, press 666. If you are being assaulted,press pound,pound,pound. If you are already dead, stay on the line, and an operator will be with you shortly.”
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Reasons to Love Men 1. They’ve got that comfortable place on their shoulder that’s perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. 2. They’re at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. 3. They’re enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we’re not. 4. They’re beyond enthusiastic about sex. 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.…
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You might be a Redneck if you think the Nutcracker is something you do off the highdive. You might be a Redneck if someone hollers “Hoedown” and your girlfriend falls to the floor. You might be a Redneck if you own a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren’t. If you have been married 3 times and you still have the same in-laws, you might be a Redneck. If your grandma can properly execute the Sleeper hold. You…
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After I had grown up and become a man, my father and I were seated in front of the TV, during a football game’s halftime exercises. Dad remarked, “Son, every time I gave you a whipping when you were bad, you’d go into the bathroom and spend about 30 minutes, scrubbing the toilet. You got it spotlessly clean, and I could never figure out why you did that.” Without taking my eyes off the TV, I replied, “I was ‘getting…
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Continuing Education Courses For Women 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.. 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.. 3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday.. 4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.. 5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game.. ] 6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.. 7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.. 8. Valuation:…
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1. Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off. 2. Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough. 3. Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 4. Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 5. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich,…
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