Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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Two dogs, a poodle and a Great Dane, were waiting in their cages at the vet’s office. The poodle was very nervous and started a conversation with the Great Dane by saying, “Boy, did I screw up yesterday.” His neighbor, being sympathetic, asked what happened. The poodle explained, “My owner is a very religious lady who recently became engaged to the choir director of her church. His family came over to meet me. I don’t know what it was about…
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There was once a truck driver who would amuse himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer, he would swerve to hit him, there would be a loud “THUD”, and then he’d swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. The driver thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over. “Where are you…
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Top ten sign’s your at a Redneck wedding… 10. Rehearsal dinner held at hooters 9. Instead of friends of the Bride, friends of the Groom, Usher’s ask Ford or Chevy 8. Bride’s maid’s pink tub top’s, Bride’s Groom’s Travis Tritt T-shirt’s 7. Phrase “i do” replaced with phrase “I herd dat!” 6. The “Wedding March” song performed by Hank Williams Jr. 5. Minster asked “Who giveth this woman to be married” some guy in the back stand’s up and yell’s…
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Two altar boys walked out of the back door of a church, stripped down naked, and jumped in, head first, to a pile of snow, and slid down the hill to the parking lot. A man who just parked his car in the parking lot demanded to know what was going on. One boy said, “It’s OK. Father Flanagan likes to have a couple cold ones after mass”.
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The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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You light your bed on fire and fight your brother in it. Your teacher gives you detention, so you give him a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers. You leapfrog over people while playing football, then you turn around and clothesline them. You publish a shirt that says ‘Jay Leno 1-0 Who’s Next.’ Every time you sit down at a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault onto…
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George Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening night of one of his plays to Winston Churchill, with the following note: “Bring a friend, if you have one.” Churchill wrote back, returning the two tickets and excused himself as he had a previous engagement. He also attached the following: “Please send me two tickets for the next night, if there is one.”
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One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…
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Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed…
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