Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
COMPUTER VIRUSES Woody Allen Virus Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Tonya Harding Virus Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons. Paul Revere Virus Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\. Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus Instantly turns 1 K of disk space into 1 Meg. Ollie North Virus Plays a patriotic WAV while it shreds your files. Joey Buttafuoco Virus Only attacks minor files. Lorena Bobbit Virus Your hard disc…
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Some classic answers from Irish radio Just-a-minute quiz. Actual answers given to the bould Larry Gogan (Irish Radio Presenter). 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword 2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the Capital of France? F 4) Name a bird with a long neck? Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital…
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A man was relaxing in his back garden, sitting in the shade, sipping a beer and listening to the radio. As he chilled out, his wife struggled with a manual mower, pushing it up and down the large lawn, sweating and red-faced. The man’s next-door neighbor from England saw the woman battling with the mower and shouted across the fence, “You pathetic excuse for a man! You’re just sitting there sipping your beer while your poor wife cuts the grass.…
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There were three moles in a hole. The first mole stuck his head up and said, “I smell bacon”. The second mole stuck up his head and said, “I smell sausage”. The third mole stuck up his had and said, “I smell mole-asses”.
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Two guys are sitting at a bar drinking beers, and eating peanuts. One guy turns to the other and says, “You want to play bar football?” The other guy replies, “Sure I’m up for it, but how do you play?” “Well what you do is this. First you eat a handful of peanuts and chug down a beer to score a touchdown, and then you have to pull down your pants bend over and fart for the extra point. Each…
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A research scientist was assigned to do a test to determine the influences of body shapes in distance jumping. So, the scientist decided to use a frog for this research. He positioned the frog on a surface that was marked off in feet and inches. He said :”Jump frog jump” and the frog jumped 7 ft. The scientist recorded this observation: Conclusion: Frog with 4 legs , jumps 7 feet. Then he cut off 1 leg and said “Jump, frog…
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1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…
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Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went…
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Little Billy is a neighor of Ms. Jones & concerned about her dog getting out — Little Billy runs up to Ms. Jone’s door, “Ms. Jones, Ms. Jones, your dog is out!” Ms. Jones replies, “That’s o.k. Billy, I let him out. He is eating grass ’cause he has gas.” Well…the next day Billy sees Ms. Jones dog is out, Billy runs to her door, “Ms. Jones, Ms. Jones your dog is out!” “I know Billy, he has gas &…
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A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth, he says.
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