Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1) If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? 2) I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 3) If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be YOU by morning! 4) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or “fertilized”? 5) I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. 6) My love for…
(0)
Loading...
Hoow To Cook A Turkey Step 1: Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5:Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take three more whiskeys of drink Step 7: Turn oven the on Step 8: Take four whisks of drinkey Step 9: Turk the bastey Step 10: Whiskey another bottle get Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer…
(0)Loading...
14. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden. 13. Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey’s 900 number on your bill. 12. You find a stash of “Feline of Fortune” magazines behind the couch. 11. Cyanide pawprints all over the house. 10. You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed. 09. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip. 08. Droppings in litter box spell…
(0)Loading...
1. Their #1 prodict would be microsoft winders. 2. Instead on an hour glass icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle. 3. Ocassionally you’d bring up a winder (window) that was covered in a hefty bag and duct tape. 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of “Ahh-right” “Naw” or “Git” 5. Instead of that annoying “Ta-da” sound you’d get dueling banjos. 6. The recycle bin would be an outhouse. 7. The winders (windows) theme song would go something…
(0)Loading...
You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
(0)Loading...
1. If you pay dues on a tatoo. 2. If you’ve been on the news five times explaining what the tornado did. 3. If people often come to your door thinking you were having a yardsale. 4. If you mow your yard and find a car. 5. If you hear the term “modem” and think of what you did to your roses last week. 6. If you see a sign that says “Say no to crack” and it reminds you…
(0)Loading...
I?ve learned… that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, and hope they panic and give in. I?ve learned… that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I?ve learned… that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I?ve learned… that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you?d better have a big dick or huge tits. I?ve…
(0)Loading...
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight10.3, Bar Night 2.5, Weekend Golf 6.1 and Football 5.0 no…
(0)Loading...
The Top 39 Things You Would NEVER Hear A Texan Say: 39. “I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex”. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can’t feed that to the dog. 32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 31. No kids in the back of the pick-up,…
(0)Loading...
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…
(1)Loading...