Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young Marine and his commanding officer board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young soldier are interested in each other because they are giving each other “looks.” Soon, the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound…
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It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn’t. Santa was really angry. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The Elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a…
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Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,” he replied. The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you…
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A cowboy was riding the range and as he rounded a bend in the road, his horse balked at a huge rattlesnake in the road. As he drew his colt and was ready to shoot, the snake yelled, “Stop..I am a charmed snake and if you don’t shoot me I’ll grant you three wishes.” Somewhat shaken, he holstered his revolver and said, “OK, let’s see what you can do”. The cowboy said, “I’ve been working really hard all my life,…
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A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the checkout counter, where she told the checkout girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.” The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you…
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After Saddam invaded Kuwait he decided that he wanted more money. So he ordered 3 men with no jobs. He told the first one: “Here you are,” as he handed him a key. “This is the key for a supermarket. I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit.” So away he went with the key. He told the second: “Here you are,” as he handed him another key. “This is the key for a boutique.…
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Q: What do you get when a Low Rider crashes with a Police Car? A: Pork and Beans.
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There were these three guys, a White man, a African-American man, and a Portuguese guy. (Here in Hawaii we make fun of Portagees!) They all died in a terrible car crash and went to Heaven. They thought it was great! But there was only one big rule, you could not step on any of the ducks or you’d have to spend the rest of the day with an ugly woman. One day, the African-American and the Portagee were walking around…
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Why would you ever want to remarry an ex-spouse? It’s like finding some sour milk in your fridge, putting it in the trash for a couple of days, and then wondering, “Gee, I wonder if it’ll taste any better now.”
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Sung to the tune of “The ballad of Jed Clampett” From the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES Submitted by Rena Come and listen to my story ’bout a man named Gore A snippy Democrat, who was really quite a bore On election day of his Presidential bout He thought he lost the fight but he got to recount ballots that is… punch cards… butterflies Well the next thing you know they’re countin’ ’em again He lost a second time so he gave it…
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