Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Four men are in a training class. The professor asks the first man what is the fastest thing you know. He replied, “Thoughts. They go to your brain before you know it.” The professor said, “That’s a good one,” he turned to the next man and asked him what was the fasted thing he knew. The 2nd man replied “Blinking your eye.” The professor said, “That’s a real good one too.” He turned to the 3rd man and asked him…
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For those of you who don’t know, Gay Head is the name of a small town on Martha’s Vineyard, now renamed to Aquinna (I can’t imagine why they renamed it). It is known for its fabulous beach and stunning red cliffs overlooking the beach. On my recent vacation, I decided to go there for the day. Feeling a little brave, I decided to head for the Northwest end of the beach. This is where bathing suits are optional. As I…
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Things we have in Egypt that the rest of the world doesn’t: 1- McDonald’s home delivery (the rest of the world have to get off their lazy butts and go get it). 2-Mollokhya (for some reason our tasty national green slime has not caught on elsewhere). 3- Relaxed driving regulations (apparently, the rest of the world drives around in straight lines, how bizarre!). 4- No drunk-driving laws (well, no breath-analyzers anyway). 5- Magical economics (250 people in a 40 seater…
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On their third night after the wedding, the two blissful newlyweds shut off the lights and crawl under the covers. Turning amorously towards his bride, Joshua tenderly informs his wife that tonight he wants a hand job instead of the usual stuff. She, being the proper girl that she is, had absolutely no idea what a “hand job” was. So, she gets out of bed, puts on her robe and heads for the phone to call her mom. “Mom,” she…
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T’was the night before Chrismas – Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – whad do i hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudoph got drunk and goosed all the…
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A nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?” First a little girl says, “The sky is definitely blue.” Teacher says, “Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray or orange, or……” Second a little boy says, “Trees are definitely green.” “Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown.” Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks: “Does a fart have lumps?” The Teacher looks horrified and…
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An avid golfer goes to the local golf course to get in a couple hours of practice after work one day. He hits a large bucket of balls on the driving range, but still hasn’t corrected the slice he’s working on. Not having enough money to buy another bucket of balls and being all alone on the practice tee, he walks up the edge of the driving range picking up balls in the weeds and bushes so as not to…
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In the Garden of Eden, As everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve, Without any clothes. In this garden, Were two little leaves, One covered Adam’s, One covered Eve’s. As the story goes on, Nevertheless to say, The wind came along, And blew the leaves away. At the sight, Adam did stare, There was Eve’s treasure, All covered with hair. And wonder came, Under Eve’s eyes, As Adam’s thing, Started to rise. They found a spot, That suited them best, A…
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A retired couple was driving to Florida for the winter, when they were stopped by a highway patrolman in South Carolina. The patrolman approached the car, and noticed that is was an elderly couple, and the wife was driving. “Excuse me, Maam”, he said to the old woman, “Can I see your driver’s license please?” She then turned to her husband with puzzled look on her face. To this the old man screamed, “HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE!”…
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THE PERFECT DAY – FOR HER -8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses -8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday -8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents – expensive jewelery chosen by thoughtful partner -9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil -10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer -10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry -12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe -12.45 Catch sight of husband/ boyfriend’s…
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