Answer the question Jokes - page 6

Guyness Quiz

Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…

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The Usual Suspects

It’s a murder mystery. Can you finger the perpetrator? A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a number of the other fellow workers. Based on past scrapes with the law, many of the following workers were considered prime suspects: * The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged. * The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame another man one time. * The glazier went to great panes to…

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Bushisms, pt 2

“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…

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Confusion

It’s a sunny afternoon on a summer day. A blonde is seen in front of K-Mart in a shopping mall. She is visibly flustered and sweating profusely. People in the stores have been watching her in almost the same place for hours. Every now and then she’s been asking shoppers – ‘Could you tell me the time please?’ She hears the answer and mutters – ‘How can this happen?’ Finally she meets a kind old lady and asks her the…

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History of Officers’ Insignias

The young Ensign approached the crusty old Chief and asked him about the origin of the commissioned office insignias. “Well, Ensign, it’s history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you’re valuable, BUT malleable. The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade represents value, but less malleable. When you make Lieutenant, you’re twice as valuable, so we give you two silver bars.” “As a Captain, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As an Admiral,…

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And now, for $1,000…..

A man says to his friend, “I have two questions that I will ask you. One question is extremely easy to answer, while the other one is extremely difficult to answer. If you answer the first question correctly, I will give you $500. If you answer BOTH questions correctly, you will be given $1,000. Do you understand?” The friend nods affirmatively. Continuing, the man says, “OK, which question would you like first? The very easy question, or the very difficult…

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Heavenly Voice Mail

WHAT IF GOD HAD VOICE MAIL We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this: Thank you for calling The Lord’s House. Please select from the following options: Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS Press 2 for THANKSGIVING Press 3 for COMPLAINTS Press 4 for HEALING Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS Press 6 for…

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Job Searching

Joe and John, two men of the same age and qualifications, are planning on taking the same exact test in order to qualify for a job. They both sit down to take the test and when they have completed the test they each await patiently for the results. The owners of the company come up to Joe and tell him that he did not get the job, but John did. “Why?” asked Joe, “We both had the same qualifications!” “Well…”…

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