Proud Jewish Mother
A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. “The doctor is three,” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Answe Jokes - page 29
Instructions for Life
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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Only in America……..
Only in America…can a pizza get to your house faster that an ambulance… Only in America…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink… Only in America…do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry and a diet coke… Only in America…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters… Only in America…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the…
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Finally Getting Married
There were two Jewish woman (Ruth and Golda) walking along the street. Ruth says to Golda, “My son, Irving, is finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.” Golda says to Ruth, “Do you have any idea what this herpes is and can he catch it?” Ruth answers, “No, but I am so thrilled to hear about Irving’s engagement. It’s past time he’s settled. As…
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Three Sisters and a Honeymoon
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on…
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What Does ‘Amen’ Mean?
When my brother said, “Amen” after grace one night, one of his children asked what “Amen” meant. Before he or his wife could answer, their five-year-old responded, “It means, ‘Send.’”
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go home
A man leaves home and goes straight, makes a left turn, goes straight, makes another left. Then again goes straight, makes yet another left and goes straight, reaches home. He confronts two men in masks. Who are they? ANSWER:The catcher and the umpire.
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The Tent Pole is Up
Joe woke up one morning and looked for his wife, but his wife wasn’t there. She had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife: THE TENT POLE IS UP, THE CANVAS IS SPREAD, THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST, COME BACK TO BED. The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy. It read: TAKE…
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Keep The Motor Running
It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” He answered, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, “You really are amazing. How do you do it?” He again said, “You’ve got…
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What Day Is It?
Question: If mothers have Mother’s Day and fathers have Father’s Day, what day do single guys have? Answer: Palm Sunday.
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