Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Stupidity got us into this mess — why can’t it get us out? Even if you are on the…
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A man walks into a diner and sits down. The waitress comes over and hands him a menu. He hands it back and says “I already know what I want, I want a B.L.T.N.T.” The waitress looks at him with a confused look and says,”I know what a B.L.T. is but what does N.T. mean? The man replys, “Bacon, lettuce, and tomato not toasted.” So the waitress goes and gets his sandwich. After he eats it, she comes over and…
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A preacher was passing a farmer’s house on an afternoon walk. He noticed the farmer was digging a rather large hole. The preacher asked what the farmer was doing, to which the farmer replied “One of m’ critters died last night and I gotta bury ‘im.” The preacher asked “Which one?” The farmer answered, “My burro.” The preacher stated, “You know, according to The Good Book, that critter is an ass.” The farmer nodded and continued his chore. A few…
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A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. “Guaranteed like heck,” he thinks to himself, “But let’s see what they think they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he…
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A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half-past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the…
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A woman walks into a confession booth and says, “Forgive me Father for I have sined.” “Whatever troubles you child?” said the Priest. The woman answered, “Last night, my boyfriend came over and we made passionate love five times.” The Priest thought for a moment, then replied, “Go home and suck the juice from five sour lemons.” “Then will I be forgiven?” asked the women. “No,” replied the Priest, “but it will take that big smile off your face.”
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A little boy was playing with a pile of shit, building things. The Republican comes over and says, “Hey little boy, what are you building?” “I’m building a Democrat,” the little boy answers. The Republican finds this totally hilarious, and calls over the nearest Democrat and dares him to ask the kid what he’s doing. The Democrat complies. “So little boy, what are you doing?” “I’m building a Democrat,” repeats the boy. “And why are you building a Democrat?” queries…
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There were three guys who all died. When they got to heaven, God told them that in order to get into heaven, they had to ask him a question that he could not answer. If he could answer it, he would go to Hell. So the first guy, a doctor asked him what is the drug used to finish coronary bypass surgery? God gets the question right and the doctor goes to Hell. The next guy, a computer programmer, asks…
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A lawyer and a stunning blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask…
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Three boys save President Bush’s life. President Bush says to them, “Boys, you can have anything your little hearts desire.” The first boy asks for a Game Boy and every game ever made for it. President Bush says, “You got, little man.” The second boy asks for a Playstation 2 and a pony. President Bush says, “You’ll have ’em by tommorow.” The third boy asks for a wheelchair with a built-in Playstation and freezer. President Bush asks the boy, “Why…
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