Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The two Uranians landed in the desert, and , leaving their saucer hidden beneath a dune, they go exploring. The first sign of civilization they spot is a service station, and approaching warily, Commander Znugg says to Science Officer Ktoing, “Watch it, this is gonna be rough.” “How do you know? asked Ktoing. “Trust me, Znugg replied as they walked up to the nearest gas pump. Trying to sound as pleasant as possible, Znugg said, “Take me to your leader.”…
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WHAT IF GOD HAD VOICE MAIL We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this: Thank you for calling The Lord’s House. Please select from the following options: Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS Press 2 for THANKSGIVING Press 3 for COMPLAINTS Press 4 for HEALING Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS Press 6 for…
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This is a love letter from a boy to a girl…. However, the girl’s father does not like him and wants them stop the relationship…… Afraid that her father would intercept any messages, the boy wrote this letter to the little girl. 1 “The great love that I have for you 2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you 3 grows every day. When I see you, 4 I do not even like your face; 5 the one…
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By now, you’ve probably all seen the new “slogan” that’s gotten every preacher’s attention coast to coast: WWJD, or What Would Jesus Do…. Contemplating that very question, here are some possibilities: 1. Call his Dad. Find out why Dad and Mom never got married. 2. Have dinner with eleven close friends and the one guy he just doesn’t like. 3. Get some sleep. 4. Hang around for a while and catch some sun. 5. Get up early on Sunday, even…
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There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where Saint Peter met them and asked, “What would each of you like to hear your relatives or friends say at your funeral?” The first man answered, “I am a renowned doctor and I would love to hear someone say how I had been instrumental in saving someone’s life and gave them a second chance.” The second man replied, “I am a family man and a school teacher, I…
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It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.” “That’s mighty nice of you, ” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.” “Aw, come on,” the farmer insisted. “Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But Pa won’t like it.” After a hearty dinner,…
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Joe and John, two men of the same age and qualifications, are planning on taking the same exact test in order to qualify for a job. They both sit down to take the test and when they have completed the test they each await patiently for the results. The owners of the company come up to Joe and tell him that he did not get the job, but John did. “Why?” asked Joe, “We both had the same qualifications!” “Well…”…
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Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…
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I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…
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Question: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: None. They generally screw in the Oval Office.
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