Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.…
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I read of a man who stood to speak At the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombsone From the beginning…to the end. He noted that first came her date of birth And spoke the following date with tears, But he said what mattered most of all Was the dash between those years. (1900-1970) For that dash represents all the time That she spent alive on earth.. And now only those who loved her Know…
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A white lady on a business trip arrived in LA in the heat of the rioting. She was very nervous and distressed about her safety, and the danger she felt, lurked around every corner. After checking in at the front desk she headed to the elevator. Upon arriving at the elevator, there were already 3 black men on it. She quickly debated with herself about the situation. “This is ridiculous, I have nothing to fear from these men, here in…
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Sister Margaret and Sister Catherine went for a walk late one afternoon. They lost track of the time and finally realized that if they didn’t hurry back to the convent, they would be late for evening prayers. It was getting dark and in order to save time, they decided to take a short cut through the park, even though they were aware of the dangers of being in the park at night. They were hurrying through the park when all…
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“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…
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Three gang bangers are shot in an aborted holdup. While awaiting their fate to determine whether they are to go to Heaven or to Hell, they sneak out of the holding zone and arrive at the Pearly Gates where upon they are greeted by St. Peter. “Check it out, bro,” says the lead gang banger to St. Peter. “Dis is where we belong.” “I’m sorry,” replies St. Peter, “but I don’t see any of your names on the admittance list.”…
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One poor old fellow is driving along one day and has a really bad car accident… he wakes up in hospital and can only see out of one eye… the doctor looks at him and say “I’m sorry, but we had to replace one of your eyes… with a rounded piece of rimu tree” So when he gets out of hospital his mate comes round and tries to cheer him up by taking him to the bar. When they get…
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. I intend to live forever – so far, so good. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that…
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ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…
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An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi. The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was…
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