Allo allo Jokes - page 2

No Women Allowed

A country club didn’t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women’s club and became very active. After about six months, the governing board of the club received a letter from the women’s club complaining about the men urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter. After another six months, they received…

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Reasons for allowing drinking at work

1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communication. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care.…

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Florida Election Ballot

I think a Democrat must have made up the Florida Election Ballots. Of course, we must understand the Democrats court the minorities who can’t read, write, think, or punch a hole at the end of an arrow. As for the seniors, it bothers me that they had a problem, because they have no problems when it comes to playing 15 bingo cards at a time. By the way, that Bill Daily is a beaut — he comes from Chicago where…

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Free Advice from Kids

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…

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Trust Me, I’m a Doctor!

A few days before his proctologic exam, a one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for awhile, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed the doctor’s instructions, undressed and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man’s rear was that glass eye staring right back at him! Taken aback, the doctor said, “You know, you really must…

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Read JokeTrust Me, I’m a Doctor!