Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
After a complete physical checkup, the doctor asks Dave Reynolds how old he is. “I’m 60, doc” says Dave. “Well, that’s astonishing, Mr. Reynolds,” comments the doctor, “You’ve got the body of a 35-year old. You might live forever. How old was your father when he passed away?” “Pardon me, doc, did I say he’d passed away?” says Dave. “He’s 82 years old and skis all winter and surfs all summer.” “That’s remarkable” says the doctor. “How old was your…
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One day as George is sitting in class the teacher is asking everybody questions about their parents and what they do for a living. Everybody replies with doctor, engineer, architect, etc. When it’s Geore’s turn, he tells the teacher that his mom works as a substitute. The teacher asks what kind of substitute and George says, “I don’t know… she just wears high heels and a very short, tight skirt and walks around the street at night.” The teacher giggles.…
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A recently married young Rabbi went to his congregation, informed them of his wife’s pregnancy and asked for a raise in wages that would allow him a reasonable salary. After due deliberation, they all agreed that the increase in family size warranted the raise and informed the Rabbi. As time went on and after 6 births in six years, a meeting was called to complain that the cost was becoming burdensome. Addressing the congregation, the Rabbi said that having children…
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(Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: My, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes, it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named “Picasso.” I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90’s audience, because they know these priceless paintings will sink with the boat. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to…
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I have a friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. So I suggested he see a doctor and have his legs checked out. For years, he refused…told me I was crazy! But last week, he finally went and, sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was a quarter of an inch shorter than his right. After a quick bit of orthopedic surgery, he was cured, and both legs are exactly the same length…
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When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark: “Good luck, Mr.Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was…
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Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly calls her and urges her to go get back into the world. Finally, Sadie agrees to go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I have someone for you to meet.” Well, it was an immediate hit! They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks…
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Classroom scene: The teacher walks into her fifth grade class and says: “OK children, today we will not use the textbook.” All the children were happy, especially those who didn’t get their homework done. Teacher goes on to say, “Today we will be talking about colours, and we will use our imagination to talk about colours. Can anyone tell me a story about colours?” An Irish boy raises his hand and starts “My daddy is a policeman and he wears…
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CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…
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An atheist was hunting one day in a deep woods and while spotting a deer he took aim but his gun jammed. Hearing a noise behind him he turned to see a ferocious Grizzly drooling and growling as it approached him. He immediately fell to the ground and re-thinking his beliefs he called out: “GOD, if you exist, please… take this bear away! He then heard a voice from above. “You of all people want my help? You denied me…
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