Aked Jokes - page 5

Woo Woo Woo!

There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking in the desert together, when suddenly one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. Then, he hollered into the cave, “Woo! Woo! Woo! A moment later, the Indian heard a response, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” so he tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The puzzled Polish fellow asked the other Indian what that was all about, and the Indian replied,…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeWoo Woo Woo!

Joe & John

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John’s wife died the same day that Joe’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, “I am sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.” Joe, thinking that she was talking about the boat, said, “Heck no, in fact, I’m sort of glad to…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeJoe & John

Dumb Death

“Did you hear what happened?” Jim asked, when he saw me walking down the hallway at work. “Hear what?” I asked, my curiosity peaked. “The Regional Vice President died this morning!” “What?!!” I asked, totally stunned. “What happened?” “He was working through lunch when he had a heart attack,” Jim began explaining. “Everyone was gone except his secretary. You know the one.” “Boy, do I! She’s that young blonde babe.” “Yeah, that’s the one. Turns out she isn’t too smart,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeDumb Death

Know Who?

A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor knew her reputation around town. He asked her, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of baked beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeKnow Who?

Over 50 Ways to get rid of Blind Dates

1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeOver 50 Ways to get rid of Blind Dates

Black Sponge

A little boy accidentally walks into the bathroom and sees his mother naked. The little boy in awe says, “Mommy, what is that?!” His mother replied with, “Ahh, it’s my black sponge…now, go outside and play.” The next day, the little boy once again walked into the bathroom and saw his mother naked. The little boy asked, “Mommy, what happened to your black sponge?” The mother replied, “I lost it…now, go outside and play.” The next day, the little boy…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBlack Sponge

Golfer’s Distraction

Two friends had arranged a round of golf and were now on the first tee, preparing to start their game at 7 a.m. Just as the first golfer was half way up his back swing, a good-looking young lady ran across the course about 10 yards in front of him, peeling off her clothes as she went, until she was totally naked. As she disappeared into the woods, he turned, dazed, to his companion, “What was THAT about?!!!” “Take no…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeGolfer’s Distraction

Snow White & The Dwarfs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were roaming in the forest when they came across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decided to take a bath, so she told the Dwarfs to turn around while she was undressing to take the bath. The dwarfs protested vehemently, so she relented and said that when they heard the splash, they could turn around. Snow White undressed and as she was about to jump into water, she was startled by…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSnow White & The Dwarfs

Bad Timing

It was early one Saturday morning. A friend of mine called to warn me of a group of Jehovah Witnesses working our neighborhood. I thought it would be funny if I appeared at the door totally nude and holding a beer. I looked out the window and saw a man in a suit, a well-dressed woman and two young girls carrying what looked like a bag. As soon as the doorbell rang, I opened it. Acting very drunk, I asked…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeBad Timing

The General and the Flag

This American general was invited to Ireland to review the Irish troops. His plane landed at the Dublin airport, and the general stepped off the plane. To his surprise, there stood the Irish troops along side the runway. All of them “Buck Naked”. The general said, “A bit unusual, but carry on”. The general stepped in front of the first soldier for inspection. A fine figure of a soldier: 6’6″ tall, 200 lbs, wide shoulders, narrow waist, hair all over…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe General and the Flag